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Faux News“We Report, You Decry!” All content ©2010 by the Humor Times. We post our 'fake news' pieces here a couple weeks after the printed publication goes out to our subscribers, so they are not as fresh as the would be if you read them in the Humor Times! Subscriptions are cheap, and the magazine includes a collection of the very best and funniest editorial cartoons for the month, as well as many other great features. You may also read our fake news stories in blog format here, where you can leave comments, subscribe to the blog, etc. Subscribe to Humor Times' Faux News by email!
Old one causing 'buyer's remorse,' say CEOs NEW YORK - CEO's from the nation's top banks and Wall Street financial firms confirmed rumors today that they plan to purchase a "brand new government" to replace the old one. Read more...
"Tell 'em what we really think of their fake top hats, Mel!" prez orders WASHINGTON - Saying that no one else can tell off a lying cheater like Mel Gibson can, the president today announced he is making Mel Gibson his administration's intermediary to BP. Read more...
'Running election campaigns is so easy, even I can do it!' MANNING, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Fresh off a surprise Democratic primary victory against Vic Rawl, in which he ran what he calls a "non-campaign," Alvin Greene has announced that whether or not he wins the election against incumbent Republican Jim DeMint in the fall, he plans to challenge Obama for the Democratic primary in 2012. Read more...
Proponents say it'll make U.S. number one oil exporter GULF OF MEXICO - "We've reached the end of our rope," said BP representative Keith Seilhan, "there's nothing that can be done to save the Gulf as a body of ocean water. So we're doing the logical thing." That "logical thing"? Use the Gulf as an international repository of oil. "We'd save it all for the US, but after all, we are capitalists, and we sell to the highest bidder!" he added. Read more...
GOP emboldened by 41-seat 'Super Minority' WASHINGTON – Claiming to be saving America from the Dems' "socialist agenda," Republicans broke historic new ground in obstructionism by threatening a filibuster at the Senate roll call this morning, saying it was necessary to "avert the calamity of any further deliberation." Read more... NBC to Put Leno and O'Brien on Rotating Schedule
NBC announced a major shake up today with "the whole concept of television scheduling." Moving Jay Leno to 10 PM "worked so well this year," say network executives, that they want to continue coming up with bold new ideas. "America is tired of the same ol' time slots, and they want change. We're the only network delivering it," said NBC president Jeff Szucker. Read more...
'I'm, like, humbled that God has anointed in me to help reform that evil media there' Fox News confirmed that Sarah Palin is going to play Tina Fey on their new show Faux News or Fox News: You Decide. Ms. Fey is unavailable to host the show due to her huge comedic popularity so Fox News Executives asked Sarah Palin; also hugely popular for her comedic value. Read more...
Says he took them for health and just to be 'one of the guys' In a public admission recently, Mark McGwire finally came clean on his steroid use, which included the 1998 season, when he hit a record at the time of 70 home runs. But today, he stunned sports reporters and fans alike by candidly admitting it had actually lowered his home run production. Read more...
Calls for another 'profitable crisis for America' mount Wall Street and the major banks have joined together to call for another economic crisis, since the recent one "worked so well," according to sources. Read more...
Pot legalization movement hurting bottom line Trench coat sales are down, street corners are emptying and drug dealers are applying for unemployment benefits in record numbers as a result of the emerging legal medical marijuana business. Read more... Bin Laden's Cave: 'Crowded and Funky' (Information for this report received by word of mouth via the north Pakistan grapevine) Osama bin Laden's cave has become crowded beyond capacity due to President Obama's decision to send an additional 30,000 US troops to Afghanistan, according to underground sources. Read more... Read more Humor Times original "Faux News" stories here.
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