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America's #1 PopulistJim Hightower
A Corporate Monster v. "The Vermonster" Where are those lawsuit abuse groups when you really need them? Chance are that you've seen ads, letters-to-the-editor, op-ed pieces and other materials put out by outfits with such civic-sounding names on Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse. By whatever name, the message is always the same, usually delivered in a sort of urgent, basso profundo voice saying something like this: "Bloodsucking lawyers are constantly filing frivolous lawsuits against beleaguered corporations. Stop these lawyers and their loser clients -- demand that your lawmakers cut them off from the courthouse." Hmmmm. Stop consumers from bullying big business -- now there's an improbable populist cause if I ever heard one! Who are these "citizens" who've formed such noisy lawsuit abuse groups? Well, they're just neighbors, we're told by the groups. Yeah, assuming you have a neighbor named Philip Morris. In the mid-'90s, this tobacco giant was still fighting off class-action lawsuits from hundreds of thousands of Americans who'd been addicted to, sickened and killed by the corporation's murderous products. Unable to win in court, Philip Morris and its corporate allies secretly launched a nationwide campaign to rig the rules of judicial access in their favor. Philip Morris itself put up $16 million in 1995 to hire a PR firm to create faux "grassroots" fronts in every state under the banner of Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse. These CALA front groups (which continue to demonize consumer lawyers and fight for new laws to take away our fundamental right to seek legal redress against corporations that injure us) are funded and controlled through another corporate front named ATRA -- American Tort Reform Association. Its backers include a who's who of big business brand names, from Anheuser-Busch to Wyeth Pharmaceuticals. The lawsuit abuse groups are innately dishonest, not only because they deliberately hide their special-interest parentage from the public, but also because they're not really against abusive lawsuits. It's only legal actions (SET ITAL) against big corporations (END ITAL) that get their knickers in a knot. On the other hand, when those same corporations turn their powerhouse legal departments against the hoi polloi (consumers, small businesses, environmental groups, etc.), we never hear a peep of complaint from a CALA about abuse. Curiously inconsistent, huh? For example, where is their outrage about Hansen Beverage Inc., the nationwide, billion-dollar marketer of "Monster" energy drinks? This Goliath has unleashed its legal hounds to go chasing clear across the continent to take a big bite out of a tiny David in Morrisville, Vt. There, Matt and Renee Nadeau have created a local business producing artisan beers. Their Rock Art Brewery employs seven people, and they make a terrific brew with the bodacious name of, "The Vermonster." When this label hit the sensitive radar of Hansen Beverage, the corporate lawyers fired off a nuclear email to the Nadeaus, demanding that they cease and desist from using the Vermonster name -- or be sued. Sued for what? For infringing on Hansen's "Monster" trademark, barked the cross-country lawyers, adding that Rock Art's use of "Vermonster" would "undoubtedly create a likelihood of (consumer) confusion" between the two brands. Uh, we make a beer not an energy drink, replied the Nadeaus -- and our beer comes in a 22-ounce brown bottle that looks nothing like a Hansen product. Commonsense, however, is not spoken by corporate lawyers, and the Hansen gang promptly shifted from frivolous to abusive, demanding the surrender of the label, plus compensation to cover Hansen's high-priced legal fees. Corporate executives and lawyers know that they can drag out cases like this for years. The timeline takes no skin off the nose of billion-dollar outfits with their own legal staffs, but a protracted fight can quickly bankrupt a small business. Thus, even though the corporate power is in the wrong, it can usually bully the innocent into submission. Maybe not this time, though. "Corporate America can't be allowed to do this," declared a defiant Matt Nadeau. So the feisty couple has mounted an online campaign to rally us consumers and others to push back against the abuse of the Hansen "monster." They won't get the support of the CALA frauds, but maybe they'll get yours. Check out their revolt at www.rockartbrewery.com How do you spell "hypocrisy"? Try this: "H-Y-P-O-C-O-N-G-R-E-S-S." The hypocongress consists of those Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats who have risen up on their hind legs in recent weeks to snarl and howl at any mention of a government role in meeting America's health care needs. "Socialism," they bark -- we won't allow Barack Obama and the liberals to create a Washington-run, big-government intrusion into the hallowed private market. Sen. Jim DeMint, a South Carolina Republican, even pledged to fight so ferociously that the health care battle would be Obama's "Waterloo." What a stand-up guy for free enterprise! What an ideologically correct appeal to laissez-faire principle! And, let me add, what a crock! What these bellicose market-purists hope you don't discover is that they are closet socialists. As members of the congressional elite, they and their families are governmentally blessed with their very own gold-plated, taxpayer-financed, Washington-run health care system. And, they loooove it. Theirs is such an effective system that not a single member of the hypocongress has been willing to give it up -- even though they surely realize the political peril of being exposed as rank hypocrites for enjoying the very program they so adamantly reject for you. Actually, they happily take a double dip in the soothing waters of public health care. First, they enroll their entire families in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program -- and you probably would, too, if it were available to you, for it's the Rolls Royce of health plans. For example, while even the best employer-provided health policies offer only one or two types of coverage, FEHBP is a Chinese menu, offering dozens of coverage choices that allow its lucky members to assemble a plan that meets their unique needs. Members also need not worry about being denied coverage because of some pre-existing condition -- once sworn into office, lawmakers and their families are immediately and fully insured, with total access to a national network of doctors and hospitals. But here's the sweetest part of their Rolls Royce ride: up to 75 percent of the premiums are paid for by taxpayers, many of whom are lucky if they can afford to buy an old Yugo-level of health coverage in the vaunted private market. Well, snaps the hypocongress crowd, even if FEHBP is essentially government-paid insurance, at least it's not socialized medicine, with doctors working for the government -- so, technically, we're still pure. Ah, that raises the second bit of secret socialism that lawmakers have mandated for themselves. Right under the Capitol dome, conveniently situated between the Senate and House chamber, is the Office of the Attending Physician. Inside are more than a dozen navy doctors, nurses, medical technicians, pharmacists and other health professionals, all employed by the government solely to attend to a select clientele: the 535 members of Congress. Let's say that, after giving a fiery speech on the floor assailing the evils of government-run health care, a lawmaker gets gaseous or has a tongue cramp. He or she can pop right into the OAP for -- yes! -- some government-run health care. No appointment needed, no pesky insurance forms to fill out, no co-pay -- just care. For this, members pay a flat fee of $503 a year. A year! You and I are taxed to cover the real costs of this elite service. And that's not the end of public health benefits for lawmakers -- if they need a specialist, an operation, therapy, rehab or other pricey procedure, it's all free at the government's Walter Reed and Bethesda Naval hospitals. If it's good enough for them, why not us? The public deserves what the Congress has, and any member who opposes extending it to us should automatically be stripped of their privileges. For a model of integrity, they might look to Sen. Sherrod Brown, D-Ohio, and Rep. Steve Kagen, D-Wis. -- both of whom have rejected taking congressional coverage until everyone in America has coverage of equal quality. I don't think the noisy naysayers are looking for integrity, however -- not as long as they can get away with their abominable hypocrisy. Copyright 2009 by Jim Hightower & Associates.
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