The Battling Depp’s swing & miss media circus, with no punch line or verdict yet!
If you’re old enough to remember “The Punch & Judy Show” – then you were around when intimate details of marital fights were not aired as a media circus on TV, Radio or Movie Magazines!
Or had to listen to recorded fights & emails & texts later to become snark fodder … because that’s what Johnny Depp & his Ex Amber Heard’s Defamation Trial is here for!
What does the expression ‘Punch & Judy’ mean? It means a two sided ideological battle or contradictory arguing. The show originated in England in 1662 – I remember it was a Monday! haha
Conceived by another Johnny – Giovanni Piccini, it’s target audience was intended for adults, but it changed into children’s entertainment in the late Victorian era – when The Devil & The Mistress were removed.
Described as ‘Slapstick’ Comedy – it included lots of violence, tasteless jokes, lying, stealing & cheating – not to mention throwing Pies!
‘Punch’ carried a slapstick which he freely used on most of the characters while his wife ‘Judy’ tried to tell ‘Punch’ off when he used it!
In the show, when ‘Punch’ doesn’t see ‘The Crocodile’, the audience members would often shout out to try to warn him of the danger – just like we Court Watchers shout out at our computer/phone screens to warn Johnny Depp what we can plainly see – that he unfortunately saw too late!
All I know is ‘Puppet Punch’ never Staged ‘A Sedation Table’ photograph, left Doo-Doo on his wife’s side of the bed or gifted her with a menacing knife – like Amber Heard did!
(Okay, 2 of those things were allegedly done & Depp Court fans know which ones they are – but do we really?)
A typical ‘Punch & Judy Show’ would have a cast of characters such as: MR. PUNCH, Judy his wife, The Baby, The Policeman, The Doctor, Joey the Clown, The Hungry Crocodile, The Skeleton, The Devil & Punch’s Mistress – ‘Pretty Polly’!
And then there’s… my observation of a few characters from the on-going Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Defamation Trial:
PUNCH (Amber)
Johnny
The Obligated Cokehead Sister
Johnny’s brilliant slam-dunk Lawyer, Camille Vasquez
The (I’ve got your ‘Cover-up) Make-Up Person
The ‘Morning-After-Clean-Up’ Man
The Lovable Front Desk Attendant: ”Recall? I don’t remember what I had for Breakfast”!
The Bumbling Psychotherapist
The Over-Qualified Wonk-Tech Expert Witness
The Drug Buddies
The Ragtag Penthouse-Commune Friends
The Incontinent Support Dogs
And…Ellen Barkin, Actress & old (I…I…I mean not recent) Lover!
And now that Johnny is free of romantic entanglements – I wouldn’t be surprised if Ellen Barkin drops by some day with an unbreakable Box of Red Wine & an old 45 of the great song “Sea of Love” & Johnny says:
“Where have you been, who have you been seein’ & Where the hell were we”?
For more laughs, check out Marilyn Sands’ other satirical articles on this trial:
It’s All About DEPP Perception: We All See Johnny’s Plight Differently
What if Johnny Depp & Ex Were Jewish and Had a Food Addiction Instead?
Scarlett O’Hara Meets Amber… Heard of Her?
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