Throwing the book at Trump: His own mini-reviews of books that may fill the shelf in Donald’s Presidential Library!
While Merrick Garland is throwing the book at Trump, here are a few random books Trump is considering & his very own mini-reviews underneath!
Tell me which books you think should definitely be put up there? Let’s have some fun!
1. “I, CLAUDIUS”
‘And I, Hitler, Stalin & Mighty Mouse’!
2. “WATERSHIP DOWN”
‘And other things that wouldn’t frigin’ flush’!
3. “THE LAST OF THE MOHICANS”
‘And, I’ll finish their Wall too’!
4. “DOCTOR ZHIVAGO”
‘Another doctor who gave me a Military Deferment’!
5. “THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO”
‘Crisco is saturated fat – believe me! Or ask Doctor Zhivago!’
6. “PYGMALION”
‘It’s simple – it chronicles the day I stopped eating Pork’!
7. “WAY OF ALL FLESH”
‘Well, duh – getting into my Speedo’!
8. “THE DAY OF THE LOCUSTS”
‘Not to mention the frigin’ Cicada that got in my pants’! haha
9. “THE HANDMAID’S TALE”
‘Isn’t that the one with the Russian Hooker with a weak bladder’?
10. “THE REMAINS OF THE DAY”
‘No contest – The hard pieces on the bottom of the McDonald’s Fries bag’!
11. “THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE”
‘And, other Ties I have worn’!
12. “THE TARTAR STEPPE”
‘The only good thing about a Fillet-O-Fish!
13. “FERDYDURKE” (1939)
‘Geez, everybody knows – it’s a Rom-Com where Ferdy & ‘Covfefe’ met’!
14. “PIPPI LONGSTOCKING”
‘Yeah, now I remember – it’s the Receptionist I hit on at my Urologist’s’!
15. “THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING”
‘I can’t say – but check out my ‘Failed Diets’ & ‘McRib Hangovers’ Memo’!
16. “SOPHIE’S CHOICE”
‘Ask Melania – for us, it was always between me & J. D. Rockefeller’!
I am not dating myself – if I said billionaire ‘Jim Walton’ – it wouldn’t be funny!
Oh – either way. Never mind!
17. “WUTHERING HEIGHTS”
‘No, no – I didn’t want to leave the house because I couldn’t find my other pair of Shoe Lifts!
18. “THE COMPLETE STORIES OF FRANZ KAFKA”
‘No, it won’t be on the shelf – but makes a great Door Stop’!
19. “MOBY DICK”
‘Beats me, but ask Marilyn Sands – heard she could find a ‘Member Joke’ in a Haystack’!
20. “THE LONG GOODBYE”
‘Are you kidding me – from Impeachment 1 & 2, ‘Grab-Your-Pussy- Gate’, Rape-Gate, Lafayette Square Stun Gun-Pepper Spray-Rubber Bullets-Bible Holding Photo-Op, Hydroxychloroquine Endorsement, Inciting a Capitol Mob, Fake Electors, Possible Mar-a-Lago Top Secret Documents Espionage & not putting the cap back on the toothpaste – you bet it’s a long Goodbye’!
21. And…”CRIME & PUNISHMENT”
‘Just so you know, I can’t eat Prison food. I’m allergic to ‘Gluten & Water’ & my Butt is not yours – it’s mine’!
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