Breaking Down the Latest Jobs Report - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

To break down the Biden Administration’s July jobs report, we turned to a pair of world famous economists.

Since the Biden Administration released its July jobs report indicating that 528,000 new jobs had been added to the U.S. workforce, we here at The Slobovian News Network have been bombarded with questions about the sectors these jobs were added to.

biden jobs report — Photo by Ted Eytan, flickr.com.

We have learned that the country is suffering from a lack of truck drivers, policemen, firemen, teachers, airline pilots, bus drivers, restaurant workers, nurses, doctors, EMTs and even soldiers and sailors.

To break down the July jobs report, we turned to a pair of world famous economists, Dr. Lotsa Moolah of the University of Vagina at Kootchykoo and Dr. Vulfgang Therd Shiffte of the Slobovian Blue Collar Institute.

After carefully studying the report, these experts stated that the numbers break down by job sectors as follows:

22 new convenience store clerks
2500 new smash and grab crew members
60 new New York City subway feces smearers
227,000 new drug dealers
92,000 new car jackers
173,000 new online scammers
18,000 new Texas border smugglers
42 new drill rappers
12 new fast food workers
25 new Donald Trump Defense lawyers
127 new professional lottery players
3 new airline pilots
2500 new Fox News channel contributors
2500 new MSNBC contributors
1000 new armed robbers
10,327 new mass shooters

SNN Words To Live By

“Life is a contact sport“ — Jovan Musk, TV commercial

“America’s a tough town“ — Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman), Taxi TV show

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.