Cheney grills Trump, lassoing her man and gallantly saving her Wyoming reputation!
Enjoy this exclusive sneak preview of an upcoming January 6th hearing — Liz Cheney grills Trump:
DONALD TRUMP
I’ll take the Tater Salad – no fartin’ Beans for me!
LIZ CHENEY
Did you think you were coming to a Barbecue?
TRUMP
It’s not? And, I wore my dang cowboy boots with Lifts!
LIZ CHENEY
You know we have you ‘by the short hairs’, don’t you?
TRUMP
If you find any – you’re welcome to it!
LIZ CHENEY
No thank you – I’ll let Bruno find them at San Quentin!
TRUMP
I have you know, I’m getting a Private Cell – thank you very much!
LIZ CHENEY
Who told you that?
TRUMP
My lawyers, ‘Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz’!
LIZ CHENEY
My readers don’t want to hear that sorry old joke! When we’re done – you won’t be able to afford one Schwartz!
This time – nobody is getting you off!
TRUMP
That’s what Mahalia said last night!
LIZ CHENEY
Don’t you mean Melania?
TRUMP
Matilda, Manila, Melinda – who cares, she left me years ago!
LIZ CHENEY
That’s big news – how did you keep it from us?
TRUMP
Well, luckily you were all too busy trying to get the National Guard to the Capitol!
LIZ CHENEY
She left you on January 6th?
TRUMP
Right before I threw my lunch against the wall.
LIZ CHENEY
You mean you missed lunch that day?
TRUMP (sadly)
And, my wife left me.
LIZ CHENEY
Well, we on the Jan 6th Committee should take that into consideration.
TRUMP
Please do.
LIZ CHENEY
But, just for conformity sake – are you Donald John Trump?
TRUMP
Yes.
LIZ CHENEY
Here’s your Subpoena!
Off the cuff:
LIZ CHENEY
Oh, Donald, if Melania left you years ago, why did you say that Melania rebuffed you last night?
TRUMP
Marilyn Sands says Sex Sells, Comedic License… okay, she doesn’t know how to take it out — are you happy?
Check out an Oldie but Goody companion piece: Transcript: Trump Subpoenaed, Faces Tough Questions.
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