Entrepreneur Elon Musk Interviewed - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews entrepreneur Elon Musk and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are entrepreneur Elon Musk and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders.

JERRY DUNCAN

Hi Elon.

ENTREPRENEUR ELON MUSK

Greetings.

BERNIE SANDERS

I almost didn’t make it. Thank goodness I found an earthworm that knew which rock you were under.

JERRY

You’re hot and sweaty. Can I get you something to drink?

BERNIE

Got an egg cream?

JERRY

A what?

BERNIE

It’s a New York thing. Please, whatever you have.

JERRY

Let’s talk about the world around us.

Jerry hands him a water bottle.

BERNIE

Is this water bottle for me?

JERRY

(sarcastic) No. You’re going to christen a ship.

JERRY

Elon. Can I get you anything?

ELON

How about a beer?

JERRY

How about no way?

ELON

You’re no fun. I want to get drunk.

JERRY

I would too if I had all those kids from two wives and two girlfriends. At the rate you’re going, you’ll have more than Nick Cannon and the old woman who lived in a shoe.

BERNIE

He can afford it. The man makes billions and doesn’t pay his fair share of taxes. Talking to Musk is gunish shmigunish. There’s no purpose.

ELON

I pay taxes. People that cheat disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents.

JERRY

Elon. You’re the founder of Space X and Tesla. You recently purchased Twitter.

ELON

Yep. I’m worth 174 billion dollars.

BERNIE

After a rocky start, the good news is that Musk is turning Twitter headquarters into a homeless shelter. The bad news, it can only house 280 characters or less.

JERRY

Believe it or not, you fellas share something in common.

BERNIE

An enlarged prostrate?

JERRY

No. You’re both passionate about climate change.

ELON

That’s why I founded Tesla. It’s an electric car. No need for fossil fuels.

BERNIE

Muskrat. Not many people can afford a car for $47,000 to $125,000.

ELON

But it runs on a battery.

BERNIE

So do my hearing aids.

JERRY

Elon. What did the German boy say to his mother after pushing his brother out of a Tesla?

ELON

I don’t know.

JERRY

Look mom. No Hans.

BERNIE

Another thing. I don’t get the point of Space X. We don’t need to go to Mars. There’s more junk in the atmosphere than in a Dollar Store.

JERRY

Maybe Elon wants to find his relatives.

ELON

That’s not it. I have a craving for Mars bars.

JERRY

C’mon. No reason to go to Mars. There’s plenty of space in your head.

JERRY

Elon Musk and Senator Bernie Sanders. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.