Thinking inside the box: Dark Comedy is what you’re hereafter!
‘Being of sound mind – I spent all my money!’ Well, that takes care of my Last Will & Testament!
Oh yeah, if I work it right, when I die I won’t have any money left over!
Of course, I don’t want to cut it close like Comedian Henny Youngman when he said, “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by 4 o’clock!”
It’s not that I want to die broke, but my goal is zero money at the end – something like a simultaneous orgasm!
That’s right, if I’m lucky, the last check I write will bounce!
Okay, I’m a little anal, but I believe in that saying, “It’s better to live rich than to die rich”. Alright, I wouldn’t call myself rich, but I’ve pinched pennies so long & so hard – Lincoln has a double chin!
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Half the time Paul is ungrateful & Peter feels used!
There’s proof spending it all is a good thing to do. After Essayist, John Foster died in 1843, he said, “The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell”!
And, who can quibble with a dead man?
“My Fair Lady” Playwright, George Bernard Shaw said, “Spend all you have before you die & do not outlive yourself”.
And, as “Dorian Grey” Playwright Oscar Wilde sipped champagne in his deathbed, he said, “I’m dying beyond my means”!
But just in case, I have a Plan B! Just like ‘The Rules of Monopoly’, the Parker Brothers Board Game:
‘If the Bank runs out of money, it may issue as much money of its own as it may need by merely writing on any ordinary paper’.
That’s good to know, but I decided to do this when I noticed there were no Luggage Racks on a hearse!
So I have a few words of advice if you’re a believer too!
It’s a lot like how you gain weight: Eat more calories than you use!
Buy things you’ll later regret & no Shoplifting – you won’t get anywhere that way!
Call your Broker & invest in 8 Track Tapes & Typewriter Ribbons!
Open a ‘Bed & Breakfast’ & call it, ‘EAT YOUR NEST EGG’!
And, finally – get fitted for your casket – not too many people do that!
I made mine roomy – I remembered, “He who dies with the most toys wins”!
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