Republican Stink Tank Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio host interviews the Republican Stink Tank, aka Kevin McCarthy and sidekick George Santos.

ANNOUNCER

From under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are Republican House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy and his sidekick New York Congressman George Santos, leaders of what’s become known as the Republican Stink Tank.

KEVIN MCCARTHY

Let me make it perfectly clear. President Trump did bear some responsibility for the January 6 assault on our Capitol, but it was Nancy Pelosi who is to blame. She knew there was trouble brewing before the demonstration and did nothing.

JERRY

And what planet did you say you were born? You’re an idiot on top of a liar.

GEORGE SANTOS

Always tell the truth, Kevin. My manager told me that when I played center field for the New York Yankees.

JERRY

Congressman Santos. I understand you were at the Trump rally in DC on January 6, 2021.

SANTOS

No. I was in the NFL playoffs. I was tight end for the New York Giants.

JERRY

You just said that you played for the New York Yankees.

SANTOS

I thought I did. Wait…it was the Mets. Sorry.

JERRY

Do you know the difference between a bucket of shit and you?

SANTOS

No.

JERRY

The bucket.

MCCARTHY

Hold on, Santos. What’s with the Yankees, Mets, and Giants? You told me you were a drag queen at a club in Brazil.

SANTOS

I was. My stage name was Jenna Talia.

JERRY

Speaker McCarthy. Why are you defending this moron just to get votes passed?

MCCARTHY

His fate should be decided by the voters.

JERRY

76% of voters in Santos’s district want him to resign including a majority of Republicans.

JERRY

Let me ask you something. Do you believe Joe Biden is the legitimate President of the United States? Yes or no.

MCCARTHY

Eeny, meeny miney, moe. I don’t think the President is Joe.

JERRY

Get real. Biden won in an electoral landslide. He had 7 million more votes than Trump. Ballots were counted and recounted in all the swing states. The Trumpster came up empty like your head.

MCCARTHY

I base my conclusion on one thing, Duncan. Power.

JERRY

You should be humble like Mary Todd Lincoln after her husband Abe was assassinated.

MCCARTHY

Right. She ended up in a mental institution.

JERRY

Of course she did. Mary was a Republican.

MCCARTHY

We may need to replace George Santos with someone like Kanye West. A rising star in my Party. Kanye has a brilliant economic plan should he choose to run for Congress.

JERRY

What kind of plan?

MCCARTHY

He’s going to put 50 Cent into the treasury.

JERRY

Kevin McCarthy and George Santos everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.