Hunter Biden: Jerry Duncan Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Hunter Biden, the youngest son of President Joe Biden.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning. Yes, it is. Today on the show my guest is Hunter Biden, the youngest son of President Joe Biden.

HUNTER BIDEN

Where am I? Who am I?

JERRY

Let me answer. You’re a zombie in the Twilight Zone.

BIDEN

Is that some kind of joke?!

JERRY

No. Even Harvey Weinstein thinks you’re odd. My question is who is running the Bates Motel if you are here talking to me?

BIDEN

In response to those tasteless remarks, I quote former Vice President Dan Quayle. “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind.”

JERRY

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

JERRY

You were a drug addict. Discharged from the Navy Reserve for failing a drug test.

BIDEN

Yes. I smoked crack every 15 minutes at one point in my life. Thank goodness I got help. Did a stint in rehab.

JERRY

Hey. Do you know what you call a duck that’s a drug addict?

BIDEN

No.

JERRY

A quack head.

BIDEN

Okay, funny boy.

JERRY

Here’s something that’s not funny. You were a hedge fund, venture capitalist who worked as a lobbyist for a Chinese investment company from 2013-18. And the company had links to the Chinese Communist Party.

BIDEN

Old Chinese proverb. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. Look, it was an innocent mistake. Had no clue CEFC China Energy was in bed with the Commies.

JERRY

There’s more. You served on the board of Burisma Holdings, one of the largest private gas producers in Ukraine owned by a man facing money laundering charges in 2014.

BIDEN

Had no idea his wallet was in the wash inside his jeans.

JERRY

Made false declarations on a gun purchase.

BIDEN

Not true. I am a Hunter.

JERRY

You currently face two misdemeanors by the Feds for not filing two years of tax returns. Congressman Jim Jordan is going ape and wants a hearing in the House.

BIDEN

First of all. Jim Jordan is an ape. There’s DNA proof. Second, I’m proud to pay taxes. The only thing is I can be just as proud not paying them.

JERRY

Bottom line, you have large debt and overdue tax bills.

BIDEN

That’s why I’ve been selling my paintings. They bring in up $500,000.

JERRY

You’re an artist?

BIDEN

That’s what people tell me.

JERRY

Did you hear about the artist who died yesterday in Los Angeles?

BIDEN

No. How?

JERRY

Had too many strokes.

BIDEN

I better take it easy. Have five kids to support.

JERRY

Same woman?

BIDEN

Are you kidding? Two marriages and two girlfriends. I was the inspiration for The Jerry Springer Show.

JERRY

You’re 53 years old. What’s your biggest accomplishment?

BIDEN

That’s easy. During COVID, I proved to the Trumpsters crack was safer than Ivermectin.

JERRY

You may be goofy, but there’s a Republican conspiracy against you.

BIDEN

Thanks, man.

JERRY

Hunter Biden everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.