Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL).
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Maybe. Today on the show my guests are Democratic representative from California Adam Schiff and Republican House representative from Florida Anna Paulina Luna.
JERRY
Anna. Not many people know about you. Nor would they want to.
ANNA PAULINE LUNA
That’s a low blow, Duncan.
JERRY
Not really. You were the person who spearheaded the MAGA Republicans in the House to censure Adam Schiff over his comments about former President Trump and his investigation into Trump’s ties to Russia. And wanted to fine him $16 million dollars. Thankfully it didn’t pass.
LUNA
Damn. It would have covered Trump’s payment to E. Jean Carroll for the money he’s going to owe her for the damages pertaining to sexual assault, battery, and defamation. It’s all a witch hunt.
JERRY
Just for that insane remark, you are hereby being addressed as Looney.
ADAM SCHIFF
Welcome to my world, Jerry. I’ve long been a target of Republicans. Congresswoman Luna is a habitual liar.
JERRY
How so?
SCHIFF
She said that she graduated from UCLA law school.
JERRY
Did you Looney?
LUNA
Next question.
SCHIFF
I’ll answer for her. Congresswoman Luna only has a 4-year college degree. Her greatest accomplishment was being a cocktail waitress and posing provocatively in Hometown Hottie and Maxim.
JERRY
Is that true Looney?
LUNA
Yeah. I’m a hottie. Sometimes I get the urge to run around naked. But then I drink Windex, because it keeps me from streaking.
JERRY
You’re 34 years old. A baby compared to Senator Dianne Feinstein.
LUNA
Yep. Dianne is the only person I know who was a friend of First Lady Martha Washington.
JERRY
You’re also the youngest member in Congress of Mexican heritage.
LUNA
Si Senor.
JERRY
Hey. Do you know what they call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
LUNA
No clue.
JERRY
Roberto!
Schiff laughs.
LUNA
What are you laughing at hyena boy?
SCHIFF
I read your paternal grandfather was German and served in the Wehrmacht during World War 2.
LUNA
That’s right.
SCHIFF
Then he must have tied his shoes with little knotsies.
JERRY
Looney. You tried to take down our leaders AG Merrick Garland, FBI director Christoper Wray, and Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas. Even harassed Veep Kamala Harris at an airport.
SCHIFF
The Congresswoman is an anarchist, Jerry. She hates government.
LUNA
At least I helped get Schiff off the Intelligence Committee.
JERRY
Looney. At least he has intelligence. Adam Schiff and Anna Pauline Luna everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
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