Bob Iger Interview: Jerry Duncan Show - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Bob Iger, the Disney CEO.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Not really. My guest today is Bob Iger, the Disney CEO.

BOB IGER

(sings) “When you wish upon a star…”

JERRY

Disney sucks!

BOB

Welcome to the Magic Kingdom, Duncan.

JERRY

The only magic is the $27 million dollars that you earn each year. Meanwhile, writers and actors are on strike so they can have a decent wage. Pay them what they’re worth, Bob Miser.

BOB

It’s Iger. And I can’t pay more. There’s a minimum wage law of $15.50 an hour. I offered the unions $16. That’s being more than generous.

JERRY

$27 million divided by 365 days is $74,000 a day. An outrageous salary!

JERRY

Your greed is rubbing off on other corporate executives. The other day this greedy Jamaican from Utah came up to me on the street. Do you know what he said?

BOB

No.

JERRY

More, mon.

BOB

I know a lot about Jamaicans. We produced the movie Cool Runnings about their bobsleigh team in the 1988 Winter Olympics. I find it interesting that Jamaicans don’t play hide and seek.

JERRY

Why?

BOB

Because they don’t want cops to find their stash.

JERRY

Your net worth is $700 million. Why can’t you and other studio executives share the profits with writers and actors?

BOB

I know Disney can’t. We’re a Mickey Mouse operation.

JERRY

C’mon. Over 15 years your company went from $48 to $257 billion in assets. You own Pixar, Marvel Entertainment, Lucasfilm, and Disney Resorts around the world. You can afford to give writers and actors residuals for streaming services, protect them from artificial intelligence, raise their wages so they can afford health insurance.

BOB

At the risk of making our shareholders angry? They get paid not to work. That’s why they’re shareholders. More money for them means more money for me. Greed is good, Duncan.

JERRY

Okay, Scrooge. How long will this strike last?

BOB

Until Donald Duck gets off the picket line and agrees to wear pants. I’m tired of looking at his naked butt.

JERRY

Quack, quack. Bob Iger everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.