Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Democracy has been pronounced dead, to be replaced by world’s first “Neo-super-meritocracy.”
SNN financial correspondent Quik Buck Kate reports that with so much dissatisfaction among American voters over choice of candidates and their total disgust with elected officials, the US will ditch democracy and move to the meritocracy system of government.
Under the “Neo-super-meritocracy” form of government, the person with the most talent, most money and most followers will be president.
Miss Kate is the first reporter to unleash this story. It came from an exclusive interview with Bishop Doctor Halle Damme Luulya, head of the political action organization LSSS (Let’s Start Some Shit).
According to Dr. Luulya, over 200 million Americans have signed an online petition supporting the change and stating that Democracy doesn’t work for most of the people most of the time.
Miss Swift will assume office once her Eras World Tour is finished. Under the new system, there will be co-Vice Presidents, namely Beyonce and LA Dodger Designated Hitter Shohei Ohtani. Secretaries of the Treasury will be JayZee and Kanye West. Success rate and financial earnings will be handled by the independent accounting firm of Readum and Weepe.
Should anyone out-gross Miss Swift, then that person will become the next President.
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