Pole Dancer Interview: Ginger Daniels - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews pole dancer Ginger Daniels, who is related to someone you may have heard of.

ANNOUNCER

From under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Maybe. I have a mystery guest on the line who says she is crazy about me. Let’s get the conversation started.

pole dancer — Pole dancer photo: _dChris, flickr.com, CC BY 2.0.

JERRY

What’s your name?

GINGER DANIELS

Am I really on the air speaking to you?

JERRY

No. It’s artificial intelligence. Introduce yourself and you better be hot.

GINGER

I am. My name is Ginger Daniels. I’m so hot that a cigarette lit itself.

JERRY

Nice. Are you any relation to Jack Daniels? Love those booze.

GINGER

No. I’m Stormy Daniels’ little sister.

JERRY

(excited) Trump’s girl. Wow!

GINGER

We’re completely different. (giggling) But I can be naughty, too.

JERRY

What’s your jam?

GINGER

Poles.

JERRY

Like polkas?

GINGER

No. Strip clubs, I’m a pole dancer.

JERRY

(lost for words) Abba, abba, abba.

GINGER

Jerry. I’m in my birthday suit staring at your picture. Come home to mommy.

JERRY

My mommy is dead. Well, sort of.

GINGER

Are you an orphan?

JERRY

I can be adopted. You can be my new mommy.

GINGER

And you can be my sugar daddy.

JERRY

Then let’s get together for dinner. My fans will be excited.

GINGER

What do you have in mind?

JERRY

McDonald’s.

GINGER

McDonald’s? Workers can’t even change a light bulb.

JERRY

How do you know?

GINGER

Because they can’t climb the ladder.

JERRY

Okay. Then make it Burger King.

GINGER

Good choice. Besides food, they sell Burger King underwear. Home of the Whopper. And I know a thing or two about whoppers.

JERRY

Oh, no. There’s a call coming in from heaven. It’s my mother Maggie Duncan.

JERRY

Not now, mother. I’m practically engaged.

MAGGIE DUNCAN

She’s a loser, Jerry.

MAGGIE

(to Ginger) For God’s sake Ginger, put on your panties! At least it will keep your ankles warm.

GINGER

That’s your mother?

JERRY

On a good day. Which is almost never.

MAGGIE

I love you, Jerry. Say you love me back.

JERRY

How much is it worth to you?

MAGGIE

You want me to pay. Really?

JERRY

Unless you have a better idea.

MAGGIE

Mrs. Anderson told me she has a niece that is single living in Wasilla. She’s smart, has a good personality, and pretty face.

JERRY

Translation. Chubby and lonely. I want Ginger.

MAGGIE

No son of mine is going to date a pole dancer! I won’t speak to you again.

JERRY

Yes!! Mission accomplished. Ginger Daniels and my mother Maggie Duncan. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.