Pop Star Taylor Swift on Talk Radio - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews pop star Taylor Swift.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is singer/songwriter and bigtime pop star Taylor Swift.

Pop star Taylor Swift on her Eras Tour. Photo: Michael Hicks, flickr.com, CC BY 2.0.

JERRY

Hi Taylor.

TAYLOR SWIFT

Hello Jerry.

JERRY

For being 34 years old, you’re very talented.

TAYLOR

For sure. As a hardworking American, I’m proud to say I’m a billionaire. Unfortunately, nobody in the states is accepting payment with Zimbabwean dollars.

JERRY

I’m curious. How many instruments do you play?

TAYLOR

Three. Guitar, piano and skin flute. (pause) Just kidding. I knew that would get you worked up.

JERRY

(wipes forehead) It did, idiot. I lost my train of thought.

JERRY

Okay. You started writing songs when you were 14. Signed your first contract at age 16 singing country pop. Had hit singles like Love Story and You Belong To Me. In 2020, two number one hits, Cruel Summer and Cardigan.

JERRY

Do you know what I was doing at 14?

TAYLOR

Being breast fed?

JERRY

I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, Swifter. I was catching frogs in a pond.

TAYLOR

Frogs are creepy. You’re talking to a singer who won 40 prime time Emmy Awards, 40 Billboard Music Awards, and 14 Grammys. My Eras Tour and accompanying concert film this year is the highest grossing of all time.

JERRY

Bragger.

TAYLOR

Why? Just because I sold over 200 million records?

JERRY

I thought you were going to say you were the 2023 Time magazine person of the year.

TAYLOR

I forgot, because my newest boyfriend Travis Kelce is always on my mind. He’s the best player for the Kansas City Chiefs football team.

JERRY

What could you two publicity hounds possibly have in common?

TAYLOR

We’re both tight ends.

JERRY

The MAGA Republicans have a conspiracy theory that you rigged the AFC championship game so the Chiefs could go to the Super Bowl.

TAYLOR

C’mon. Nobody wants to watch the Chiefs. Swifties rule!

JERRY

I believe it. You and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un sure know how to get a crowd going.

TAYLOR

Jerry. While we were talking, I wrote a song about you.

JERRY

(excited) Wow. What’s it called?

TAYLOR

End Of Life.

JERRY

Go choke on a Pez. Taylor Swift everyone.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.