Trump claims he has 500 million dollars in cash – now he wants you to find it!
Trump’s playing cat & mouse with his lawyers & trying the old ‘3 Card Monte’ con with the cash he needs to post bond for his upcoming New York civil fraud case! And what better way to buy time & play games than conjuring up ‘a stall’ in the form of an ‘Easter Ego Hunt’ in the search of the 500 million dollars he may or may not have.
We all know it would crush his ego if he had to give up any of his acquisitions or his Gold Toilet!
Trump even set up the RULES OF THE HUNT:
1. YOU’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BASKET!
2. I FORGOT TO TELL YOU – THEY’RE ALL IN ‘ONE’S’!
3. IF YOU DIG, REPLACE DIVOT!
4. IF YOU FIND ‘DIPPITY DO’ – THAT’S MINE!
5. I CAN’T SAY WHETHER MELANIA ALREADY FOUND THE MONEY OR NOT, BUT YOU CAN SEARCH HER. I DO EVERY NIGHT – SHE ‘LET’S ME DO IT’!
Is this thing on? haha
6. ISN’T THIS MORE FUN THAN IF I JUST HANDED IT TO YOU?
7. YOU CAN THROW OUT ALL THE $50’s IF YOU WANT! YOU SEE, I PROMISED GUILIANI HE COULD BE ON THAT BILL! SO I LIE!
8. AND, YOU CAN KEEP ANY OLD EASTER EGGS YOU FIND – I DON’T EAT ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF A CHICKEN’S BUTT!
9. IF YOU DON’T FIND ANYTHING BY 9 PM – MAKE A LEFT & PASS TACO BELL, PIZZA HUT & BURGER KING. A QUICK RIGHT AT McDONALD’S & PULL UP TO WINDOW. YOU BETTER GO TO #10 – I’LL BE A WHILE – I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT A MEDIUM OR LARGE FRIES!
10. WELL, YOU CAN ALWAYS LOOK UNDER THE WHITE HOUSE…George, Abe & Bess Truman READ THEIR ‘PLAYBOY’s’ DOWN THERE!
(As Joan Rivers would say) ‘Is she here’?
GET READY, GET SET, GO! WAIT!
Remember, the Hunt doesn’t end until all the money is found & I’m long gone to Puerto Rico!
They love me there, you know – I have Paper Towels!
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