Trump Bibles Combust: Recall - Ralph Lombard, Humor Times

Trump bibles recalled due to fire hazard.

In a bizarre development that gives new meaning to the phrase “You’re fired!“ the new Donald Trump Bibles are being recalled due to a serious risk of spontaneous combustion.

Trump Bibles combust — Trump Bibles spontaneously combust.

“We’re not sure exactly what’s going on here,” explained spokesman Noah Little, “but for some reason these books have been bursting into flames at the most inopportune moments, usually accompanied by pathetically cheesy music and a foul toad-like odor. It’s the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Trump himself blamed the phenomenon on evil Joe Biden and all his baby-eating liberals. “It’s obvious,” he proclaimed, “that just like everyone else, Satan is out to get me. But I’ll deal with him!”

Thus far three churches, two Christian bookstores, and seventeen church vans have been completely destroyed by the fires. A number of church officials have also been injured, including seven priests, two alter boys and, of course, a friar.

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Ralph Lombard

I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!