Trump bibles recalled due to fire hazard.
In a bizarre development that gives new meaning to the phrase “You’re fired!“ the new Donald Trump Bibles are being recalled due to a serious risk of spontaneous combustion.
“We’re not sure exactly what’s going on here,” explained spokesman Noah Little, “but for some reason these books have been bursting into flames at the most inopportune moments, usually accompanied by pathetically cheesy music and a foul toad-like odor. It’s the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Trump himself blamed the phenomenon on evil Joe Biden and all his baby-eating liberals. “It’s obvious,” he proclaimed, “that just like everyone else, Satan is out to get me. But I’ll deal with him!”
Thus far three churches, two Christian bookstores, and seventeen church vans have been completely destroyed by the fires. A number of church officials have also been injured, including seven priests, two alter boys and, of course, a friar.
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: One Dementional - September 14, 2024
- Greg Abbott’s Six Million Dollar Wheelchair Sparks Controversy - July 31, 2024
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: ‘Heil Be Seeing You!’ - June 30, 2024
