Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Governor of South Dakota Kristi Noem.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Not really. Today on the show my guest is the Governor of South Dakota Kristi Noem.
JERRY
Hello Kristi.
KRISTI NOEM
I love your show.
JERRY
Really?
KRISTI
No. I hate it. I’m only here because I want everyone to know I’m interested in being Trump’s VP in 2024.
JERRY
The orange moron that’s a few screws short of a hardware store? Go shave your head, you idiot.
KRISTI
Good idea. I won’t have to worry about my hair on a windy day.
JERRY
You’re 53 years old. The first female governor in South Dakota. Yet, you’re against the rights women care about in your state.
KRISTI
Like what?
JERRY
Abortion.
KRISTI
Liberals won’t de-fetus.
JERRY
Air pollution.
KRISTI
Get rid of migrants at the Mexican border.
JERRY
The Affordable Care Act.
KRISTI
Single prayer health care plan.
JERRY
January 6, 2021.
KRISTI
A friendly bunch of Trumpsters touring the Capitol building.
JERRY
Let me ask you. What is the difference between South Dakota and yogurt?
KRISTI
I don’t know.
JERRY
Yogurt has an active culture.
KRISTI
That’s what Trump said, so it must be true.
JERRY
In 2006, you were elected to the South Dakota House of Representatives. In 2011, you were elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. Then in 2019, you became governor.
JERRY
What is your greatest accomplishment as governor?
KRISTI
During the COVID-19 pandemic, I refused to issue a statewide mandate to wear face masks.
JERRY
You’re brilliant. This way anti-vaxxers will never get old just like their unvaccinated kids. Saves the state money.
KRISTI
Duncan. Something terrible happened to the governor’s mansion last month.
JERRY
What?
KRISTI
It burned down. Almost took out the whole trailer park.
JERRY
Was anyone hurt?
KRISTI
Just a Chinese woman working in her restaurant named Mel Ting. It was caught on a cell phone by her husband Phil Ming. I sure miss my fortune cookies.
JERRY
I understand the most popular pick-up line in South Dakota is ‘nice tooth’.
KRISTI
Which is why I promoted a cosmetic dental office in Texas through a video on Facebook, Instagram, X, and Truth Social.
JERRY
And got caught, you huckster.
KRISTI
I was trying to fix the teeth of rubes in our state. Oh well, I’ll stick to selling gold plated buffalo dung and the Trump bible.
JERRY
South Dakota sucks. Governor Kristi Noem everyone.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
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