Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
President Biden offers “President for a Day” prize for one million dollar donations.
If you have ever wanted to be president for a day, here’s your chance. According to SNN Politics and Moolah reporter Quick Buck Kate, President Biden stated that, “If you donate a million dollars to my re-election campaign, I’ll let you be prez for 24 hours.”
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Mr. Biden added, “Just look at all the good things you can do as president for just one day.” He then listed them:
- Declare war on Texas or the Republicans
- Pardon all your children who are in prison
- Take the whole damn Secret Service to a strip club
- Arrest the Washington Nationals for impersonating a baseball team
- Have a date night with Doctor Jill
- Have a date night with Kamala Harris
- Nuke the Fox News Channel
- Bet the whole US Treasury on the Kansas City Royals
- Buzz Trump Tower in Air Force One
- Erase all your student loan debt, credit card debt, bookie tab, etc.
Mr. Biden also stated that for a donation of $13.50 you can be VP for a day.
Breaking News
Trump Indicted for Paying Hush Money to Jill Biden
SNN Words to Live By
“Watu chitu pacey pacey.” — Saidi (Nathan Curry), Tarzan and His Mate, 1934 film.
“Let the sound take you away.” — Steppenwolf, Magic Carpet Ride, 1968 song.
“You are what you is.” — Frank Zappa.
Question of the Week
Beatles or Stones?? (Authors pick: Stones. Post your answer in the comments below.)
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