Why Trump Praises Hannibal Lector - Diane de Anda, Humor Times

Could Hannibal Lector be the perfect cover for all the revenge Trump wants to exact?

This reporter has finally discovered the story behind Donald Trump‘s reference to Hannibal Lector at his recent rally. An anonymous source on his campaign team told us that a great deal of time had been devoted to deciding who would be the best running mate for the position of Vice President..

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in “The Silence of the Lambs.”

One day, Mr. Trump announced that he had come up with the perfect candidate, Hannibal Lector. He said Mr. Lector was his choice, because he could not only scare off all Trump’s enemies, but was the perfect cover for all the revenge he wanted to exact, while still keeping himself in the clear. “After all,” he said, “all I would have to say is something completely innocent like ‘Hey, Hannibal, why don’t you invite so-and-so to dinner?”

Team members at first were frozen in silence, some swallowing gasps, others giggles. But the team leader, the most practiced in responding in ways that did not imply that the ex-President was stupid (a task that he had to practice regularly) came up with an acceptable reply. “Mr Trump, I’m afraid that Mr. Lector has recently passed away.”

The team mistakenly assumed that this had laid all thoughts of Hannibal Lector to rest. However, sorely disappointed by the loss of whom he believed would have been his best running mate, he could not restrain himself at his next rally from praising “the late great Hannibal Lector.” He has since asked his staff to purchase Hannibal’s leather mask, and like Cinderella and the glass slipper, award the running mate position to the person it fits.

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.