MTG: Leave Congress for New Job? - Diane de Anda, Humor Times

Investigation: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she will soon leave Congress, as she has found a more suitable job.

This reporter has recently verified the rumors that Marjorie Taylor Greene may soon leave Congress for another job that is more in line with her personality and that will offer the constant public attention she craves.

Neanderthal, leave Congress — Marjorie Taylor Greene says she may leave Congress for a job in a museum.

The rumors did not specify the nature of the job, so it was time for some investigating reporting.

Following MTG over the past month, this reporter noted her repeated visits to the Natural History Museum. Staff at the museum were at first reluctant to offer information until I offered the director free advertising in our paper.

It appears that the director of the museum noticed a striking resemblance between MTG and sketches of the Neanderthal woman they were preparing for a replica they were going to include in a diorama of a Neanderthal family. Her face structure,long stringy hair (which they requested return to its natural color), and musculature consistent with the early hominids’ rugged lifestyle made her the perfect model.

The time demands for MTG have increased as the diorama has been enlarged to include various activities that require her to take different poses and positions. Her facial expressions and body poses for the sections that include charging and killing wild animals appear to come natural to her. They have told her she cannot talk, but can make rude, nonsensical noises similar to those she made during President Biden’s speeches.

Then to the surprise of this reporter, the director remarked, “Ms. Greene stated that for the first time in her life, she has found something that resonates with who she really is and would like to give up all her sheath dresses for animal skin clothing and become part of a living diorama, with herself rather than her model engaging in all the Neanderthal woman tasks which come so naturally to her.

She suggested that we approach Matt Gaetz for the role of her Neanderthal husband. We declined, noting that he does have a massive forehead, but it is not sloping enough. Besides, he indicated he was not interested as there were not going to be any teenage Neanderthal girls in the diorama.”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire.Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.