[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Bookie of the Stars Sets Odds on Donald Trump Conviction

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

The odds on a Donald Trump conviction in the New York hush money trial have been set. Place your bets!

According to SNN sports and gaming correspondent Fivalle Gitcha Tenne, Las Vegas based bookie
Ample Kiester, AKA The Bookie of the Stars and aka The Big Assed Bookie, has set betting odds on the conviction chances for Donald Trump in his New York hush money trial.

Donald Trump conviction
Photo: Milliped, Own work, CC BY 3.0.

According to Ms. Tenne the odds are:

  • Guilty on all counts — 3 to one
  • Guilty on 10 charges — 5 to one
  • Guilty on 20 charges — 10 to one
  • Guilty on 1 charge — 100 to one
  • Hung jury — 5000 to one
  • Hung Judge — 50,000 to one
  • Not Guilty on all counts — 44 zillion to one

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SNN Words to Live By

“Charity is learning how to forgive; Wisdom is learning how to forgive yourself.” — Kojak (Telly Savalas), Kojak 1970’s TV show.

“You can’t smile and think at the same time.” — NFL coach Tom Landry.

“A wet bird never flies at night.” — Comedian Jackie Vernon.

The Question Of The Week

What Empowers You? (Post your answer in the comments section below!)

Authors pick: Cash, liquor and cheesecake.

Ted Holland
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