Taiwan and China: Veggie Contest! - Ralph Lombard, Humor Times

Revered vegetable-eating superstars sent to “thrilling” competition between Taiwan and China.

A popular Chinese saying goes: “The surly turd gets the bean curd.” While it is not exactly known what is meant by this, one thing is for certain. But we’re not exactly sure what that is either. I mean, give me a break, the Chinese are out-and-out inscrutable!

Perhaps this explains the recent vegetable-eating contest between Taiwan and China, but probably not. China opened up with marketplace celery to which Taiwan replied they didn’t carrot all.

Lettuce alone they demanded, whereupon China threatened heads would roll in a proper dressing down. With sudden death looming it all ended in a thrilling tie, earning praise from pundits and salad chefs alike.

China, a heavy favorite going into the competition, disputed the result. “Untrue news!” proclaimed China’s Yu Li Ho, trying to save facing it

In reply Taiwanese vegetable-eating superstar Brock O Lee insisted “We chews to be free!”

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Ralph Lombard

I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!