[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Project 2025 Under Renewed Scrutiny

Released last year, Project 2025 is a step-by-step manifesto for a Donald Trump second term.

Released just last year, Project 2025 is a step-by-step manifesto for a second term for former President Donald J. Trump. It has come under renewed scrutiny, though it has many defenders.

Project 2025 is a plan for a Donald Trump second term
Photo: Liam Enea, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Touting Project 2025 as a key to “restoration of self-governance,” by ordinary Americans, Heritage Foundation president Kevin Roberts derides criticism as “Democrat talking points” and as “unserious and misleading,” Roberts vowed to SWAT any opponents who come to his attention. He has already put a bounty out on Taylor Swift, Tom Hanks and Rob Reiner, among others.

Critics of Project 2025, however, point ominously to the proposal’s planned changes in Americans’ reproductive freedom, which calls for “banning abortion pills, placing limits on contraception,” and giving “Christian conservatives sweeping powers to impose their beliefs on others.” Martha-Ann Alito reportedly is flying a Project 2025 flag at her estate in Chevy Chase, Virginia.

A recent Gallup poll shows IVF is among “the most morally accepted practices in the U.S.,” with 82% of Americans calling it “morally acceptable,” second only to birth control, at 90%. However, FRC Action, the alt-right Family Research Council’s political appendage, described the Right to IVF Act as a progenitor of human cloning, “human-animal chimeras and other forms of embryo experimentation,” as well as “dogs, cats, getting it on….” They allege that Dr. Anthony Fauci has created an “incredible two-headed man-ape” at a facility in Wyoming.

Project 2025, published to much fanfare in 2023, cost some $22 million (funded, the project’s managers maintain, from small-dollar donations to Trump’s legal defense fund) and comes with a 1,000-page handbook, with chapters variously titled “White on Black Violence; a Means to an end;” “Sucking the Electorate Dry;” and “Retribution: The Big Screw.”

One of the major principles of Project 2025 is the so-called “No Right to Work Law,” which affords the executive branch the option of summarily firing workers from their posts regardless of their standing or length of service. Thus, says the Project 2025 Handbook, the new Trump administration will replace “non-loyal workers” with employees who “have their mind right.”

Another proposal is a “top to bottom” overhaul of the Department of Justice, including forestalling the FBI from policing misinformation. “The FBI,” remarked Reichsfuhrer Steven Miller, who has been tentatively named as the new Minister of Discipline, “has no business impacting our righteous propaganda.”

Interestingly, the handbook asks the next administration to “reexamine the balance between media demands and space constraints on the White House premises,” suggesting that the press should be located under the 24/7 White House grounds sprinkler system. “That should cool them off,” remarked soon-to-be jailbird and former White House assistant Steve Bannon.

Project 2025, say its proponents, lends credence to the so-called “Unitary Theory of Government,” whereby there are not three, but one branch of government: the Executive Branch. When asked what this implies, Bannon shrugged and replied, “Anything goes!”

Bill Tope
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