Wherein our intrepid talk show host interviews Trumpsters Mad Dog and Wheezer live from a Trump rally.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Not really. I’m live from a Trump rally in Montgomery, Alabama. My guests are a couple of Trumpsters who agreed to be interviewed, Mad Dog and Wheezer.
JERRY
Hello, big fella. What’s your name?
MAD DOG MASON
Call me Mad Dog.
JERRY
Are you a wrestler?
MAD DOG
No. I write racist jokes for Trump’s rallies. Rubes love’em.
JERRY
Like what?
MAD DOG
Why do Mexicans have small steering wheels?
JERRY
I don’t know.
MAD DOG
So they can drive them with handcuffs on. Actually, I wrote the joke with my cousin Cliff when we wuz havin dinner at Taco Bell.
JERRY
(sarcastic) Wonderful.
MAD DOG
Thunk of one this mornin. Would you like to hear it?
JERRY
Sure. Let your stupidity be a shining light for Republicans.
MAD DOG
How do you distinguish Robert F. Kennedy, Jr from a mental case?
JERRY
No clue.
MAD DOG
You don’t.
JERRY
Who’s your buddy next to you?
WHEEZER COLLINS
Wheezer Collins. Everyone just calls me Wheezy.
JERRY
Are you also a volunteer for Trump?
WHEEZER
Yessir! My job is to keep the orange man away from mirrors.
JERRY
Why?
WHEEZER
Because if Trump ever sees himself, he’ll die of laughter.
JERRY
You two forget how bad Trump was for the country when he was president. He is still trying to take away your social security. You guys could go broke.
WHEEZER
I ain’t worried. My bank account is a constant reminder that I am safe from identity theft.
MAD DOG
If someone steals my identity, I hope they pay off my debt.
WHEEZER
You’re a genius, Mad Dog. No wonder you made it through elementary school.
JERRY
Listen up. Do you know the difference between Donald Trump and a sewage plant?
WHEEZER
No clue.
MAD DOG
I know. Sewage don’t smell.
JERRY
Wrong. They’re both full of shit.
JERRY
Mad Dog and Wheezer everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
