On his toilet squatted Donald Trump
“Giddy-up, giddy-up,” he shouted at his rump
He pushed and pushed and pushed some more
but nothing came out but a flatulent snore
“C’mon, fella, don’t be such a schlump,”
Trump shouted at his indolent rump
Then he began pushing and pushing again
this time with the fervor of Genghis Khan
and (hurrah!) Trump shat and shat some more
He shat so much that it flowed out the door
and flowed across his Mar-a-Lago estate
then flowed north from the Sunshine State
From sea to shining sea it spread
and even in Alaska it found a bed
O sweet land of liberty
Trump gave his grace to thee
Lawrence Millman is the author of 21 books, including such titles as Last Places, Our Like Will Not Be There Again, At the End of the World, Fungipedia, The Last Speaker of Bear, Goodbye Ice, and — most recently – Outsider. Shop for his books at Thrift Books and other book sellers.
Latest posts by Lawrence Millman (see all)
- On Eating One’s Own Kind - July 13, 2024
- America the Beautiful - July 2, 2024
- Good Prez! - January 31, 2024
