Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews President Joe Biden and First Lady Jill Biden.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are President Joe Biden and First Lady Dr. Jill Biden.
PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN
Where the hell am I?
JERRY
You’re in the White House.
JOE
I knew this place looked familiar.
JOE
Duncan. Do you know Donald Trump has the morals of an alley cat? He didn’t dispute it during our debate.
JERRY
You call that a debate? Trump took you apart with his lie after lie. It was embarrassing. Have you ever been more embarrassed?
JOE
Yes. Last month I forgot where I parked my car. Then Jill reminded me I was shopping online.
JILL BIDEN
I’m proud of my husband. He won the 2020 election in a landslide with 306 electoral votes to Trump’s 232.
JOE
And I will win again in 2024. Nobody is better qualified for Vice President than me.
JERRY
How did you two meet?
JOE
I was in the Senate rest room. There was a message written in magic marker on the wall. It said, “For a good time call Jill (202)545-5276.” And I did.
JILL
Two years later we were married.
JOE
She’s a wonderful mother, lifelong educator, and proud military mom. Trump can’t say the same about his wife Melanoma. I mean bologna, pneumonia. Shucks…Melania. She did nothing for four years when she was the First Lady.
Melania Trump calls into the show.
JERRY
Excuse me. Former First Lady Melania Trump is on the line.
JERRY
Good morning.
MELANIA TRUMP
(Slovenian accent)
No good morning. I here to defend self. In four year, here’s what I do. Send 2000 Sports Illustrated swimsuit photo of me to the Vatican. I look into eyes of Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau and hope to marry. I teach Slovenian to son Barron in case husband deport us.
JERRY
You left the White House a mess when you moved out. Classified documents mixed in with clothes at Mar-a-Lago, dirty Depend diapers in the Oval Office, empty buckets of KFC in the master bedroom.
MELANIA
I give two reason for husband mess… number 1 and number 2. Hey, I write poem for Biden’s.
JERRY
Did you plagiarize from Michelle Obama?
MELANIA
No. I write myself.
JERRY
Please read it.
MELANIA
Joe and Jill went up Capitol Hill to give Mitch McConnell makeover. Jill turn around and break Mitch’s jaw. Now he need plastic surgery.
JERRY
Beautiful poem. Should be in a landfill.
MELANIA
I go. Hope all of you break leg…arm…back…
JERRY
FYI. If you decide to leave your husband permanently, call 911.
MELANIA
I try before, but couldn’t find 11 on phone.
JERRY
President Biden. Any words of advice to the American people?
JOE
Don’t sniff an unvaccinated kid. I’m serious, folks.
JERRY
President Joe Biden, First Lady Dr. Jill Biden and former First Lady Melania Trump.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
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