Modern Drugs: How They Were Named - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

World famous medical expert explains how many modern drugs got their names.

Lord Sebastian Farting-Loude, head of the world famous Farting-Loude Clinic, explains that like many things in modern life, the names of modern drugs and medications are quite complicated.

No longer do drugs get simple names like aspirin or penicillin. Many of the most popular advertised drugs have unique names, some rooted in obscure ancient Greek, Roman and Slobovian culture.

Names of Modern Drugs, Examples:

VIAGRA: Atilla the Hun’s 34th wife
SKYRIZI: Alexander the Great’s Horse
LYBALVI: Scientific name for Dingleberries
WEGOVY: 3rd moon of the planet Mongo
SOTYKTU: Name of the snake that tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden
BOTOX: Champion Philistine wrestler killed by Samson
8RINVOQ: Spanish conquistadore who discovered Laredo ,Texas
DUPIXENT: Napoleon’s half brother
RYBELSUS: Ancient rimjob cam goddess of self pleasure
OZEMPIC: Drummer for Pontius Pilate And The Nail Driving Five
BREZTRI: The eighth barb on a Cat-o-nine tails
JARDIENCE: SlobboRoman Empire first gay emperor
TRULICITY: Heroine of a lost Shakespeare play
FENTANIL: Latin word meaning discombobulated
REXULTI: Roman god who said “There’s no crying in Baseball”
VERZENIO: Suburb of Atlantis that sunk with the big city
TREMFIYA and ENTYVIO: Names of the two unicorns that missed Noah’s ark

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“There are three things that we all have: the past, the present and the future. The past is the lesson, the present is the gift, the future is the motivation.” — Pro wrestler Dr. Britt Baker DMD.

“Nobody says the law is perfect. But it beats the hell out of whatever’s in second place” — Kojak (Telly Savalas), Kojak 1970’s TV series.

“Folks are funny people.” — Cowboy singer Tex Ritter.

Question of the Week

What’s the greatest song title ever? (Leave your answer in the Comments section below!)

Author’s pick: Green Snakes on the Ceiling — Recorded by Johnny Bush and The Bandoleros, 1969.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.