Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
A second Artificial Ignorance Entity has declared its candidacy for President of United States, joining “Hoiman.”
According to SNN Political Crappe reporter Muck N. Mire, as President Joe Biden bows out of the 2024 Presidential race, another Artificial Ignorance entity has declared its candidacy for U.S. President.
This entity, known as “Cootchykoo,” is the sworn enemy of the first presidential candidate Artificial Ignorance entity known as Hoiman, previously reported on by SNN here.
Cootchykoo says that he doesn’t plan to campaign for votes. Instead, he will use the age-old system of blackmail to become President. He states that if he is not declared President of the US on November 5th, he will shut down every computer and machine in the world. Nothing will move. No airplanes, no cars, no money. No anything that requires machines or computers.
Cootchykoo says when he is declared President, he will take the human form of Theo Kojak, and his Vice Presidential entity will assume the human form of Ethel Mertz. Hoiman had previously hinted that it will take the human form of Hillary Clinton.
Breaking News
Liz Cheney Publishes New Book, “I Was a Republican for the FBI”
SNN Words to Live By
“The cheaper the crook, the gaudier the patter.” — Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart), The Maltese Falcon, 1941 film.
“Man’s best friend is a politician’s enemy.” — Anonymous.
“Fantasies are a lot easier than realities.” — Jack Perkins, NBC News.
Question of the Week
Morning, noon or night? (Leave your answer in the Comments section below!)
Author’s pick: morning — ’cause I survived the night.
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