“Why spend money on a graphic designer for new yard signs?” asked Kamala Harris after picking Biden as VP.
Late Wednesday night, Kamala Harris, now the presumptive nominee for the Democratic party, announced her “new” running mate: Biden as VP. On a call with Democratic donors, she said that graphic designers are too overpriced for her team to update the campaign’s signs from Biden-Harris to Harris-Biden.
“I don’t want to waste money on a graphic designer for new yard signs,” Harris said. “If we have yard signs that say both Harris and Biden already, why would we throw away money on new ones?”
Staffers were quick to remind Harris that her campaign raised over $100 million since Biden dropped out of the race and didn’t need to nominate Biden as VP just to save a couple hundred bucks.
“I don’t understand why she is being so stingy,” one staffer told reporters. “Girl, just spend the money and find a cooler running mate and new yard signs. Treat yourself!”
Harris was adamant that designing new campaign signs would be a waste of time and that the current campaign signs already “do the trick.” Yet, some staffers speculate that Harris’ frugality is part of her campaign finance strategy.
“I’m honestly guessing she’s just trying to haggle,” a staffer said. “She doesn’t want to pay for a premium subscription to Canva. So haggling with freelancers is the only practical solution.”
Regardless of whether Harris is haggling or not, senior Harris campaign staffers backed their boss’ decision to keep the old signs (and, as a result, the old President as VP).
“I like it,” Jen O’Malley Dillon, the chair of the Harris-Biden campaign—formerly chair of the Biden-Harris campaign—said. “It’s nostalgic and reminds me of my youth when I worked for the Biden campaign.”
“And I stand by my belief that Biden will win, even if all he has are old, tattered signs,” O’Malley added before blurting, “oops, I meant Harris!”
Meanwhile, during a dinner at Mar-A-Lago, J.D. Vance revealed his jealousy for the old Biden-Harris signs.
“It’s not fair that she has her name on a sign but I don’t have my name on one,” he reportedly told Trump, tears cascading down his face and glistening in his beard. “It’s always Trump this and Trump that. But what about J.D.? What if J.D. wants his name on a red hat?”
“Isn’t a movie about your life directed by Ron Howard enough?” Trump responded, according to an aide who overheard the conversation.
Vance was reportedly inconsolable and yelled, “I just want to be loved,” as he gave Trump an unreciprocated hug.
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- In Sad Attempt to Seem Cool, JD Vance Announces ‘JD IS Brat’ - August 14, 2024
- Harris Announces Biden as VP: ‘Saves on Campaign Expenses’ - July 30, 2024
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