Trump tells Christians gathered at “Believers Summit” that, not to worry, this will be the final election.
Speaking to a festive crowd of admirers at “The Believers Summit” in W. Palm Beach, FL, former President Donald J. Trump told those gathered: “Christians, get out and vote, just this time… it’ll be the final election, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote again.”
Trump critics pounced immediately, claiming that the ex-president was advocating for a “turn to authoritarianism,” which would “eliminate the occasion for subsequent elections.”
Trump campaign officials, however, said that Trump’s remarks, made at an event sponsored by the Aryan “Turning Point Action,” were taken out of context and concerned “how Trump would unite the country.”
Steven Cheung, spokesperson for Trump/Vance 2024, said that a new Trump administration would “bring unity and prosperity to every straight, white Christian man in the nation,” so that only “pagans, baby-killers, shit heels and LGBTQ riff raff would have any quibble. And those fruits,” added Cheung dismissively, “may safely be catalogued with the vermin who are poisoning our American blood lines.”
Cheung changed his tune about the recent assassination attempt on the ex-president, saying it was not the responsibility of President Joe Biden, as he’d previously declared, but that of Vice President and presumptive Democratic Presidential candidate Kamala D. Harris. Cheung charged that Harris, “a putative female,” was instrumental in the assault.
In the prior two elections, Trump has gleaned fully 1/3 of his ballot support from white evangelical Christians, the so-called holy rollers, who have contributed millions to his campaign coffers. To show his Christian bona fides, Trump held up a Gideon Bible onstage at the Peter Thiel Auditorium, the future site of Thiel’s “Enhanced Games” Olympic trials.
Trump next sought to draw sharp distinctions between a prospective Trump administration, and one led by Kamala Harris. “If you get pregnant,” Trump told the more than 16,000 women attendees at the gathering, “Kamala Harris will send armed goons, in jackboots, to your home to rip the baby from your very womb–if you’re white!
If you’re black or brown, or ‘Jamaican’ “ and here he made air quotes, “then she’ll enroll you in unfunded prenatal care and food stamps — and register the unborn child to vote in the next election; it’s sad,” he sad, shaking his head.
The ex-president then made a revelation. “Now, I’ve been under some pressure to replace my Vice-Presidential selection, JD Vance, with someone with a broader appeal,” and Trump spread wide his arms. “But I won’t do it!” A roar of approval from the crowd.
“JD represents everything I want in a VP, as that one person who may fill my shoes should Harris succeed next time in assassinating yours truly. JD Vance,” declared Trump, “is on a par with Hannibal Lecter.” He raises his chin and smiles beatifically. The orange glow is amazing, and spectators at the front of the auditorium shield their eyes.
“What JD said about Taylor Swift and Jennifer Aniston and Crooked Kamala is true: they’re bitter, unfulfilled, childless cat ladies!” The crowd jumps to their feet in a standing ovation.
“And I like what JD said about giving more prominence to votes cast by parents — white, male, straight, Christian, evangelical parents, to be sure — it makes good sense. “I’ve discussed it with my RV buddy, Clarence Thomas, and he agrees that JD’s idea of making a parent’s vote count three fifths more has a basis in Constitutional history and would make for good policy.”
Trump concluded his address by asking for a “public display of support” in Manhattan in September, when Judge Merchan is expected to sentence the ex-president for his 34 felony convictions in the hush money case.
“Now, I want everybody to be peaceful and comport themselves appropriately,” cautioned Trump, who went on to refer to the TrumpStore.com web site so that boosters can obtain the necessary flag poles, tasers, brass knuckles and cannisters of Trump brand bear spray. “Get ’em while they’re hot,” crowed Trump.
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