Stewardess & Donald Trump: Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews an Eskimo stewardess and former President Donald Trump.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are Gail Chinook, Eskimo stewardess for Alaska Airlines, and former President Donald Trump.

PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP

Go eat a blubber sandwich, Gail.

GAIL CHINOOK

I will. You’re easy to harpoon, tubby.

TRUMP

Really? You’re so sad that even Bob the Builder can’t fix your life.

JERRY

Gail. You were the first Eskimo stewardess hired by Alaska Airlines. What’s the experience been like?

GAIL

Wonderful. I like rubbing noses with passengers. It’s a good way to know them. I’m at their service from the start of the flight to the end.

TRUMP

Then serve me, I’m hungry. How about some nuts?

GAIL

Lightly roasted or swiftly kicked?

JERRY

While you two are trading insults. I’m sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen. Smart, funny, caring and absolutely stunning. Yes, I’m looking in a mirror. But enough about me.

GAIL

Jerry, I saved my paychecks for one year and was able to buy my first igloo.

JERRY

Cool.

GAIL

Not cool. My boyfriend threw a surprise housewarming party last year. Now I’m homeless.

TRUMP

You think that’s bad. A few weeks ago, someone tried to kill me. The bullet almost took off my ear.

GAIL

So I’ve heard. You must be ear resistible, Trumpster.

JERRY

Gail, I’ve always wondered. If a pregnant Eskimo is giving birth, does her water crack?

GAIL

Looks like a glacier. Hopefully, there’s no ships around.

JERRY

President Trump?

TRUMP

Don’t look at me. I’ve been on dates when my wives gave birth.

JERRY

As you know, I live in Wasilla, Alaska. Fly your airline all the time. Has former Republican Alaska Governor Sarah Palin ever been on one of your flights?

GAIL

Yes. People make fun of her, but she’s a very intelligent woman.

JERRY

C’mon.

GAIL

I’m serious. Sarah told me the capital of China is Chinatown. All this time I thought it was Panda Express.

TRUMP

You’re both wrong. It’s Sum Dum Chick. Take it from me, I’m a very stable genius.

JERRY

Gail Chinook and former President Donald Trump. See you tomorrow everyone.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.