Ben Franklin Talk Radio Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews statesman, scientist, inventor and publisher Ben Franklin.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. From a hologram in heaven, my guest is statesman, scientist, inventor and publisher Ben Franklin.

Benjamin Franklin — 1816 portrait by Benjamin West, Public Domain.

BEN FRANKLIN

Thanks for the introduction. I’m still cool at 84 years old.

JERRY

Big deal. So is Al Pacino.

BEN

Yeah. I understand Pacino fathered a child last year.

JERRY

He’s a cradle robber like you, raging hormones. You proposed to a 15 year old named Deborah Reed when you were 17.

BEN

I tried, Duncan. Her mother wouldn’t allow it. Years later, we had a common law marriage. Lived together for 43 years.

JERRY

Any kids?

BEN

Three.

JERRY

Are you sure?

BEN

Okay. Four.

JERRY

An illegitimate son. You rascal.

BEN

An innocent mistake. I wasn’t wearing my bifocals and thought the woman in the hotel room next to me was my wife.

JERRY

Hey, Ben. What kind of glasses do people wear who like guys and girls?

BEN

No clue.

JERRY

Bifocals.

BEN

Duncan cracked a funny. Do you know I invented bifocals? Also invented the Franklin stove and the lightening rod.

JERRY

Bragger. Go fly a kite.

BEN

I can’t. There’s lightening outside. I could get electrocuted.

JERRY

Exactly.

BEN

Gotta leave. Have a photo shoot. I’m going to be on the cover of GQ magazine.

JERRY

What?! The last time somebody dressed up like you was Republican Senator Lindsey Graham. He wore those ugly black buckled shoes with an evening gown at Trump’s 2017 Inaugural Ball.

BEN

I’ve been following Lindsey. Here’s the skinny. His girlfriend accused him of being a cross dresser years ago. He was so mad that he packed up all her things and left.

JERRY

Ben Franklin everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.