Trump to Secret Service: 'You're Fired!' - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Trump hired a Slobovian Agent as his personal bodyguard, leaving the US Secret Service with his old catch phrase, “You’re fired!”

According to SNN Secret Clandestine Undercover correspondent I. Beeze Watchinyu, Presidential candidate Donald Trump has told his US Secret Service detail that their services are no longer needed, leaving them with his old catch phrase, “You’re fired!”

Secret Service, you're fired — “You’re fired!” Secret Service not good enough for Trump. Photo: North Charleston, flickr.com, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Still fuming over having part of his ear shot off, Mr. Trump stated that he has hired famed Slobovian Secret Service Agent Redd Hotte to be in charge of his security detail and to be his personal bodyguard.

Mr. Trump has also hired the Schnotzevakian GD-One Invisible Ninja force, under the command of Col. Jacques Schnotte to guard his perimeters.

Mr. Trump was quoted as saying, “The US Secret Service’s secret is that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing!”

Breaking News

Biden Administration Arranges Prisoner Swap for Famous Spy Couple Boris and Natasha

SNN Words to Live By

“Find what you love and let it kill you.” — Pro Wrestler Timeless Toni Storm.

“You don’t win by winning… you win by cheating.” — Biggie Rat, King Leonardo, 1960’s TV series.

“Just win, baby.” — Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.

The Question of the Week

If you could have a walkup song, what would it be? (Answer in the comment section!)

Author’s pick: The theme from Dragnet — Dum Dee Dum Dum.

Author
Recent Posts

Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.