Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews an elderly Trump voter from Wisconsin.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is Jeanette Ward, an elderly Trump voter from the swing state of Wisconsin.
JERRY
Good morning, Jeanette.
ELDERLY TRUMPSTER JEANETTE WARD
Excuse me. I need to put my teeth back in my mouth.
JERRY
I would hope so. This isn’t a Trump rally. Jeanette, do you know the difference between Elvis and a literate Donald Trump supporter?
JEANETTE
No.
JERRY
Elvis has been sighted.
JEANETTE
Duncan. The King faked his death, because he was in the FBI. I think Elvis is that James Comey fella.
JERRY
You believe in conspiracies.
JEANETTE
Yep. That’s what I admire about Trump. He pulls a bunch of them out of his ass. The other day, he said Kamala Harris was an anchor baby.
JERRY
No. She was born in Oakland, California. And I don’t think you know what an anchor baby is.
JEANETTE
I do. They’re porky bambinos who can’t move their feet.
JERRY
You’re the typical Trump supporter. Very condescending and not charitable to others.
JEANETTE
Untrue. A charity organization called last week and asked me if I had any clothing for the starving. I replied, “Anyone that fits in my clothing isn’t starving.” That’s using the old noggin. Right, Duncan?
JERRY
Tell me why the Trumpster deserves another 4 years as president.
JEANETTE
Because I got a stimulus check for $1,200 when he was in office. Nobody ever gave me free money. I’ve been strapped for cash my entire life.
JERRY
Then you’re fighting for the wrong party. The economy is booming. Lowest unemployment ever. Inflation dropping. Gas prices are down at the pump. All because of President Joe Biden and the Democrats.
JEANETTE
Well, I did get gas for two bucks today.
JERRY
There you go.
JEANETTE
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
JERRY
Trump is a liar. He wants to reduce your social security and Medicare benefits. You barely make ends meet. Hell, you live in a trailer.
JEANETTE
I don’t live in a trailer.
JERRY
Sorry. I assumed.
JEANETTE
Just kiddin! I do.
JERRY
That’s not a bad thing. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
JEANETTE
Naw. I keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. I also need it to defend myself from illegal aliens. Trump said caravans of them are coming over the southern border to harm us.
JERRY
But you live closer to the Canadian border. Here’s a fact. Do you know what you call a sophisticated American?
JEANETTE
No clue.
JERRY
A Canadian.
JEANETTE
I’m stickin with Trump in 2024. The Wisconsin Republican Party chairperson promised to put my face on a food stamp. I’ll be famous.
JERRY
Jeanette Ward everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
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