Trumpy the Elephant on Talk Radio - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Trumpy the Elephant.

ANNOUNCER

Live from Zoo Miami. It’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today, I’m pleased to announce that I will be interviewing Trumpy the Elephant.

Trumpy the elephant — Photo: Abujoy, CC BY 3.0.

JERRY

Good morning, Trumpy.

TRUMPY THE ELEPHANT

It’s not a good morning. I’m depressed.

JERRY

Why?

TRUMPY

A Kentucky Fried Chicken drumstick is stuck in my rear.

JERRY

Because you’re bigger than a whale.

TRUMPY

You can make fun of me, but I’m the smartest elephant here. The only elephant that comes close is Chris Christie. And I ignore Chris, because he blew the chance to be my border wall when I was president.

JERRY

What do you do in here all day?

TRUMPY

I hang out with an Asian elephant named Kimmy Jong Un. Oh, here he is.

KIMMY JONG UN

I, Kimmy the Elephant. Lose 50 pound. Now I Slimmy the Elephant.

TRUMPY

C’mon. Your fat head looks like a pumpkin.

KIMMY

You mean, Trumpy. Eat shit. One hundred flies can’t be wong.

TRUMP

I’m running for president of the zoo animals against my opponent Camel Harris. The female camel with two breasts on her back.

JERRY

Those are humps, Trumpy. A stupid remark considering you have a long hose on your face.

KIMMY

Speaking of hose, Duncwin. What did left nut say to right nut?

JERRY

No clue.

KIMMY

Don’t talk to guy in middle. He a real dick.

JERRY

Camel Harris is smarter than you, Trumpy. She is offering unlimited food to every animal in the zoo.

TRUMPY

Big deal. I bet she can’t spell precedent. Soon I are one.

JERRY

I don’t think so, loser. Your fellow elephants never forget. Trumpy the Elephant and Kimmy the Elephant. See you tomorrow.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.