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Trump to Reinstate Alien-Sedition Acts When Reelected

If elected, Trump said he intends to reinstate the long-discredited Alien-Sedition Acts, implemented more than two centuries ago.

In an effort to reprise Founding Father and 2nd President John Adams, Republican nominee for president former President Donald J. Trump said he intends to reinstate the long-discredited Alien-Sedition Acts, implemented more than two centuries ago. Trump appeared on a live broadcast of a townhall meeting in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania on Sept. 4th. The event was hosted by Fox News host Sean Hannity.

John Adams, Alien-Sedition Acts
John Adams portrait by Mather Brown, Public Domain

“Why do you want to revisit the Alien-Sedition Acts, Mr. President?” asked Hannity, nearly falling off his chair.

John Adams signed the Acts because of imminent war between the United States and France,” explained Trump. “He was concerned that foreign citizens would act in a way which would conflict with America’s best interests.” He lifted his orange chin and smiled beatifically at the audience and remarked, “See, I have read a book.”

Trump went on, “And with more than 50 million illegals in this country, our interests are likewise in peril. These illegals are taking Black jobs, taking up space and using up the oxygen and other precious resources we need for ‘our’ people. They’re rapists and thieves and drug dealers and transgenders and groomers and all the rest…”

“What, specifically, do you hope to accomplish?” asked Hannity.

“The Naturalization Act, back in 1798,” replied Trump, “increased residency requirements from 5 to 14 years; the requirement has since unfortunately been set back to 5 years. I wanna make it 50 years of continuous residency. Most aliens vote Democrat, you know.” (Boos from the studio audience).

The Alien Enemies Act provides that the government can arrest and deport any male citizen from a country that the U.S. is at war with. And we are at war with Mexico, Nicaragua, Honduras, all those shithole countries, who are flooding our nation with illegals. On a positive note, the Alien Enemies Act was amended in 1918 to provide for the arrest and deportation of women as well as men. Who says we’re prejudiced?” Trump demanded. (The audience applauded politely).

“And how about the Sedition Act, Mr. President?” inquired Hannity, who was sweating freely now.

“This law was originally designed to target errant newspaper editors,” said Trump, but now it’ll include not only the failing New York Times and Washington Post, but radio and television news programs, social media and the like. We’re gonna stick that damn Lester Holt and Anderson Cooper and Nicolle Wallace in the slammer, Sean!” (Trump shook his fist at the audience, who roared their approval).

“Most sweet of all,” Trump went on, “will be the seizure of office space and web sites of the Humor Times. It’s long been a boil on my neck. I fully expect to charge, convict and incarcerate every writer on that rag, with the possible exception of Conservative Capitol Correspondent Llib Epot, who’s done alright for himself.”

“Mr. President,” asked Hannity, “will this law be open-ended with respect to its enforcement?”

“No, Sean,” replied Trump. “I’m taking a page out of Adams’s playbook again. It will take effect on Day One of the Trump Administration, and then expire on my last day in office — whenver that might be,” he said with a smirk. (The audience rumbled with laughter).

“Mr. President, do you anticipate any difficulty in the enactment and enforcement of these laws?”

Not really. John Adams had Samuel Chase to run interference for him on the Supreme Court. I’ve got Clarence Thomas. And, apart from being a Negro, Clarence has got it going on. It’s all explained in the manifesto for Project 2025, Sean, which I know nothing about!

Bill Tope
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