[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Endorses ‘Steel-Cage Grudge Match’ Between Alt-Right Figures

Friction between two Trump female advisors has prompted him to suggest that they face off in a steel-cage grudge match.

In a post on X (formerly Twitter) on Wednesday, alt-right blogger and activist Laura Loomer speculated that if Democratic nominee Kamala Harris wins the election in November, “the White House will smell like curry,” a reference to Harris’s Indian heritage.

Laura Loomer cage match
Cage match: Loomer looming. Photo: Gage Skidmore, flickr.com, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Fellow alt-right Trump enthusiast Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R. GA) called Loomer’s post “appalling and racist,” but noted that, as a racist, Loomer was “still only an amateur.”

Friction between two of Trump’s most prominent female advisors has prompted the ex-president to suggest that the women face off in a “steel-cage grudge match,” in the hopes of generating revenue for the cash-strapped Trump campaign. Trump speculated that the to-the-death combat would “generate a pretty penny” for Trump’s legal defense fund as well.

According to Loomer, one of Greene’s favorite words “Starts with an N.” Moreover, said Loomer, Greene has used campaign funds to arrange meetings between self-loathing Black racist rapper Kanye West and white supremacist Nick Fuentes. “And Greene,” shrilled Loomer in a telephone interview with Humor Times, “Is willing to allow Jan. 6 patriots and tourists to rot in prison.” Greene came back with the suggestion that she is considering staging conjugal visits with the rioters.

Loomer summed up her evaluation of Rep. Greene by denouncing the Georgia Republican as “An anti-Semitic trailer park harpy.”

The two neocons disagree on the tragedy of the 911 incident as well. Whereas Loomer calls it an “Inside job, orchestrated by the corrupt George W. Bush administration,” Greene maintains that the plane that went down in Pennsylvania 23 years ago perished as a “Direct result of Jewish space lasers.”

Laura Loomer, 31, in the alt-right spotlight for the past decade. has more than 1.3 million followers on social media, putting her just 283 million followers behind singer/songwriter Taylor Swift.

Speaking to a HuffPost reporter on Thursday, Greene ally Sen. Lindsey Graham (R. SC) said that “The history of (Loomer) is just really toxic.” Under questioning, Graham admitted that he was having sexual relations with Georgia congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Ms. Loomer resides in Florida and often attends events at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. According to Trump, Loomer is a sort of unofficial stand-in for Melania. “My wife is too old to reproduce,” lamented Trump, “and I’m a robust man; I wanna have another child.” Asked Melania’s position on his desires, he sniffed and said that “Melania is considering buying a cat — from a Springfield, Ohio Haitian.”

Bill Tope
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