Sterilize Sinners to Make America Great - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Evangelical Mega Bishop preaches that we must sterilize sinners across the nation.

Bishop I. Will Gitova, head of the Help Me Lordy Lordy Temple in Phumbledunkia, Mississippi, states that America is in ruin because the sinners are breeding and multiplying at an alarming rate, and we must sterilize sinners immediately.

In an exclusive interview with SNN Damnation reporter Mortale Synne, Bishop Gitova stated, “Sin is killing America. The Sinners and the fornicators are breeding and multiplying at an ungodly rate. There are sinners everywhere. In The White House, in the Congress, in the state houses, in the town halls.”

“Once upon a time,” he preached, “there was only sin caused by the Devil. Now there is sin generated by Artificial Intelligence, sin generated by Artificial Ignorance, sin generated by TikTok, sin generated by Republicans, sin generated by Democrats.

“There is only one way to stop this abomination: sterilize sinners. This will prevent them from breeding more sinners. It’s up to every good American to sterilize every sinner they know.”

Miss Synne asked the Bishop how can we sterilize sinners. He replied, “With my new Sinner Sterilization kit. It’s only 3 easy payments of 39.95. The kit contains the Powder of the Magic GnuGnu bush. That’s what King Solomon used to sterilize sinners in the Bible. You just mix the powder with Holy Water and Kool Aid and serve it to a sinner. Go to Sterilizesinners.com today!”

Bishop Gitova also stated that he is running a special on Holy Water by the gallon.

Breaking News

Second Presidential Debate scheduled for Cartoon Network: Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck to moderate.

SNN Words to Live By

“Sometimes revenge can be justified.” — Donald Trump.

“Nothing is easy, but who wants nothing?” — Donald Trump.

“A fool and his money are soon elected.” — Will Rogers.

“You have not because you have not.” — Televangelist Jim Bakker.

The Question of the Week

If all men are created equal, when does does equality begin to end? (Leave your answer in the comments below!)

Author’s pick: When a baby goes home with its parents.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.