Signs Your Doctor is Bottom of His Class

Your doctor uses Craigslist as a source for donor organs.
Instead of having an antiseptic smell, the office has a provolone smell.
Your psychiatrist wears a white coat . . . covered in blood.
The diploma on the wall is from PlaySkool University and is written in red crayon.
When dispensing medication, uses the “one for you, two for me” system.
Other doctors won’t play golf with him. Only dentists.
Believes in the healing powers of chili dogs.
Constantly confuses oral and rectal thermometers.
Often mentions “former” patients.
Bookcase includes a copy of “Doctoring for Dummies.”
Listens to your heart with two soup cans on a string.
The office is so small that the waiting room is the pizzeria next door.
The model skeleton in the office is assembled incorrectly.
Asks if you could recommend any good patients.
When 4 out of 5 doctors agree, your doctor is always fifth.
Will often ask the nurse, “Is it supposed to look like that?”
Has a defense fund.

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Ed O'Neill is a New Jersey native that watches the world but rarely participates. He has authored several well-received product reviews on Amazon, including "Colby's Lemon-scented antibiotic bunion salve" and "Chan's zen-infused mostly natural plant food spikes". He's fluent in both English and Gibberish. He's in Little Old Lady Comedy, Robotbutt.Com, and Flexx Magazine (RIP)