Congresswoman MTG Radio Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Georgia Congresswoman Majorie Taylor Greene.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Not really. My guest is Georgia Republican Congresswoman and Queen of Conspiracists Majorie Taylor Mean.

CONGRESSWOMAN MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE

It’s Greene. Like the color of my snot.

JERRY

Hey, wisecracker. Do you know the difference between spinach and snot?

GREENE

No.

JERRY

Kids don’t eat spinach. Let’s begin the interview with an incident that happened at your high school when you were 16.

GREENE

What if my mother is listening?

JERRY

It’s not about those wild nights with your boyfriend when your parents were out of town.

GREENE

Good. What happens in Georgia, stays in Georgia.

JERRY

A fellow high school student armed with a gun held 53 students hostage including you. The kid surrendered and no one was hurt.

GREENE

Scary shit. That’s when I realized all students should carry guns. There are space aliens abducting kids walking home from school. It’s a plot by Nancy Pelosi. She is making money off them on the Bangladesh Children’s Network.

JERRY

For the record, you’re nuts! I heard when you saw a yellow school bus full of white kids, you ran after it yelling, “Twinkie!”

GREENE

Fake news.

JERRY

Isn’t it true you put two M&M’s in your ears hoping to listen to Eminem?

GREENE

It was genius. But for some reason, I couldn’t make a connection. Look. I won my congressional district with 75% of the votes. I can do what I want. Have lots of support from good people like the militants who stormed the U.S. Capitol building on January 6.

JERRY

The wing nuts love you — Jim Jordan, Andy Biggs, Mo Brooks.

GREENE

Don’t forget Louie Gohmert.

JERRY

Do you know how to get Gohmert Pyle to wear a face mask?

GREENE

No.

JERRY

Convince him to storm the Capitol building.

GREENE

Good idea.

JERRY

Let’s talk about your recent accusation. You said Hurricane Milton was a government conspiracy.

GREENE

Absolutely. There are aircraft chemtrails spread by the government to control the weather. Milton was a Jewish hurricane.

JERRY

What?! You’re an anti-Semite.

GREENE

No. It would be a Christian hurricane if the name was Chris.

JERRY

You tried to decertify the 2020 results of the presidential election in Georgia.

GREENE

The election was rigged. Donald Trump won.

JERRY

Joe Biden won. The votes were certified three times, putting the Trump lie to rest.

GREENE

C’mon. The votes were counted by Chinese President Xi Jinping Pong from a high rise in Chinatown. It was Wong on so many levels.

JERRY

What will you do if Trump loses in 2024?

GREENE

I will lead a brigade in Civil War. Remember, Duncan. Kamala supporters who will be unhappy with the election and would like to fight, don’t want guns. How’s that gonna work out?

JERRY

Go suck on the tailpipe from a running car. Marjorie Taylor Greene everyone.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.