Victory celebration to be bigly, “hugest in history,” says Trump, and feature his likeness in Trump Dummies.
Donald Trump says his victory celebration for election as president on November 5 will be the “hugest” in world history, featuring body doubles at each location, which his team is calling “Trump Dummies.”
“No one will have ever seen anything like it before. It will be out-of-this-world spectacular,” said Trump.
As part of the celebration for winning the presidency, Trump will hold victory parties all across the United States. What will make it unique, said Trump, will be Trump body doubles who will be attending all the parties.
Not to get too technical, the Trump doubles are the creation of Elon Musk’s artificial intelligence technology. To quote scientific experts, the Trumps will be virtual “dummies” that “look and act just like the human dummy Donald Trump himself.” Musk introduced the Trumps performing tasks such as bartending and dancing while interacting with guests.
Meanwhile, the real Trump enthused that “if anyone knows how to throw a party, it’s Donald Trump,” referring to himself in the third person as he said all great leaders do.
“Instead of just the wonderful original me, now we’ll have more awesome Trumps to spread joy at all the parties across the country because I won the election. Women will be thrilled as I will be there to protect them from all evil, especially from illegal immigrants poisoning the blood of our country. Everyone knows they commit murders because they bring in bad genes.”
Trump said as President, he’ll deploy the other Trumps in various cities across the country to direct the operation of getting rid of all the illegal immigrants “who take jobs away from our hardworking American citizens who’ve been treated so badly for so long.”
In addition, Trump said, the virtual Trumps will be assigned to prosecute a list of the “the enemy within.” Trump said that list includes “dirty rotten lunatic left-wing Democrats” like California Reps. Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton, along with “crackhead” special prosecutor Jack Smith, Attorney General Merrick Garland, Taylor Swift, Liz Cheney, and “so many others who have ruined our once-great country.” Trump said he will swear in his dummies as law enforcement officials who will imprison and possibly execute “all these enemies of the state for treason and other high crimes against our nation.”
On an even brighter note, Trump said his victory parties will feature live bands that will energize celebrants to start dancing up a storm. In that regard, Trump said as a special treat for Americans to enjoy, he himself may get up on the dance floor and show off his moves. Just like he exhibited at his campaign rallies that left everyone “amazed and thrilled” that he had shown such flexibility, the equal to any ballet dancer’s breathtaking leaps and pirouettes.
Trump revealed for the first time that because he possesses such unbelievable coordination, in the mold of the all-time great dancers such as Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and yes, Michael Jackson, he’s been invited to appear on the TV show, Dancing With the Stars. Trump said he’s inclined to accept the invitation, but only if he can be paired with some “tall blond hot babe, just like my daughter Ivanka,” who will be in awe and express reverence for his magnificence. If he feels in the mood, Trump said he may showcase his popping Michael Jackson-like moonwalk.
Trump also revealed that Elon Musk, as well, has been invited on Dancing With the Stars. Musk said, however, he’d appear only if he could dance with his hero, Donald Trump, preferably doing the foxtrot.
After that, Musk would continue on the dance floor with his new Trump body double. Producers for the show said Trump acolytes who shouldn’t be confused with the other dummies may also dance on the program. They include Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Mike Johnson, and the very stiff Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner. Unfortunately, Kushner’s critics say he seems to act like an Elon Musk-created robot. Maybe Kushner’s wife, Ivanka Trump, should dance with him on the show to loosen him up.
Trump said Americans will be grateful that he’ll win the election and “getting exactly what they deserve” for the next four years. When a member of the news media suggested that Trump’s comment sounded ominous and threatening, Trump said what else could you expect a “lunatic leftwing member of the lamestream media” to say. But Trump said if it would make everyone happy, he’d revise his comment to say that Americans “deserve exactly what they’re getting.”
Asked if he would accept the results if somehow he lost the presidential election to Kamala Harris, Trump said there’s no foreseeable way that could happen unless the election is stolen from him, “just like it was in 2020.” In that case, Trump said, his body double Trumps will lead mass protests all across the United States calling for Harris and her Vice-Presidential Candidate Tim Walz to be put behind bars.
Then, quoting from a song by the pop-star Prince, Trump said “we’ll party like it’s 1999.”
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