It’s November 6, 2024 and “useful idiot” Donald Trump gets in Russia’s Unemployment Line.
In my 2017 Humor Times article Russia/U.S. Adjacent — A New Map is Born, I peek into the room at “Al Gorithms Troll Farm” in St. Petersburg, where influencers IGOR & BORIS make up fake stories the world reads & spreads them.
In reality, Russia is doing the same thing here – funding U.S. media firms & hiring ‘Moscow Mules‘ podcasters to influence the election under our noses.
This week during one of his speeches, Trump said he hasn’t called Russia in years. We now learn that he has called Putin (who calls Trump his “useful idiot”) seven times since he was out of the White House.
Were the phone conversations about what Trump would do if he didn’t win the 2024 election?
We may never know, but here’s the latest we do have on the sudden exodus of Donald Trump.
Listen-in to Trump’s fervent plea when he reached the promise land!
UNEMPLOYMENT LINE CLERK IN RUSSIA
Name?
TRUMP
Comrade Bingbong.
CLERK
What’s your current travel status?
TRUMP
Right now I’m on the lam.
CLERK
I knew it! You Americans are really Kinky!
I’m so sorry!
CLERK
What’s was your Job Title?
TRUMP
World Leader.
CLERK
Do you know how many jerks come here who say that?
TRUMP
Who cares – I’m hungry.
CLERK
You know anything about Siberia?
TRUMP
Do they have Cabanas?
CLERK
No, they have ice, snow – popsicles.
TRUMP
Just call Putin – he knows me.
CLERK
Do you know how many jerks come here who…
TRUMP
Okay, okay – no Cabanas. Where do I get some bread & borscht?
CLERK
Work first, then eat.
TRUMP
Let’s cut the red tape – I’m looking for a ‘Moscow Mules’ job I was promised.
CLERK
We’ll need your Medical Records.
TRUMP
Damn! I’m fine – I play golf!
CLERK
We don’t have golf – we have ‘Kick the Snowball’. How are your feet?
TRUMP
Bone Spurs.
CLERK
Let me look that up.
TRUMP (over Clerk’s shoulder)
It’s life threatening.
CLERK
You want to see Putin, don’t you?
TRUMP
We’re Buds – I gave him Top Secrets, Covid Tests, Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Over 14’ Dating List! I can’t go back to the U.S., they found me out!
CLERK
Well, it’s about time — we’ve been expecting you, our favorite useful idiot, since 2016! If you were from here, you’d be dropped from high window first day! haha Can you tell a joke?
TRUMP
I headlined at ‘The Al Smith Dinner Catholic thing’.
CLERK
I heard there were hecklers.
TRUMP
Just the Pope – he thought it was an ‘Open Mike’ & wanted 5 minutes.
CLERK
The Pope wasn’t there!
TRUMP
Would I lie about the Pope?
CLERK
The Pope said on your trip to the Vatican, you stole his beads.
TRUMP
Those were mine – my grandfather gave them to me on his death bed!
CLERK
Too much research! Now let’s see…Vlad needs a Jester & a Food Taster.
CLERK
Fries?
CLERK
Boiled Potatoes in pig’s blood.
TRUMP (tap, tap)
Is this thing on? But, I wanna tell ya!
CLERK
Can you slip on a Banana peel?
TRUMP
Every chance I get!
CLERK (gets a message)
Wait. Those positions are now filled & Putin says he doesn’t know any ‘Trump’!
TRUMP
Puny, Puny Putin is stupid, an idiot & a moron!
CLERK
And your last meal request is?
TRUMP
You don’t understand – he said I’m ‘Apple of his eye’!
CLERK
He played you didn’t he? Stop crying!
TRUMP
Apple.. (cry) Eye. (cry)
CLERK
Tell you what I’ll do – I won’t mention the crying.
TRUMP
Wanna buy a watch? Gold hardly rubs off!
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