Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Social scientists say that whether or not you’re middle class depends on your musical playlist.
In the current 2024 Presidential race both candidates Harris and Trump are centered on Americans of the Middle Class.
SNN dispatched its Political Americana correspondent, Lincoln Washington Roosevelt Wilson Kennedy Jefferson Jackson, to discover exactly who are the middle class. After days and days of extensive studies of Economic trends, social mores, religious convictions, varied moralities and ethics, Mr. Jackson said that whether or not you’re middle class boils down to what is on your musical playlist.
Mr. Jackson contacted Dr. DeeJay Turntable and Dr. Gotta Goodbeat of the world famous “International Psychosociopoliticosexicomusico Institute” to get definitive answers.
Drs. Turntable and Goodbeat say that social castes are relegated by music. High class people like symphonies and opera, the literati prefer jazz, and low class folk revel in blues, drinking and cheating songs.
If you own, listen to, keep on your playlist, clap your hands to, dance to, hum or sing any of the following songs, you are Middle Class:
• Blue Monday, by Fats Domino
• Manic Monday, by The Bangles
• Stormy Monday, by T bone Walker
• It Sure Is Monday, by Mark Chesnutt
• Your Cash Ain’t Nothing but Trash, by The Clovers
• Get a Job, by The Silhouettes
• Got a Job, by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles
• Blue Collar Man, by Styx
• Po Folks, by Bill anderson
• Livin’ for the Weekend, by The Ojays
• I’m a-Tellin’ You, by Jerry Butler
• Cats in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin
• Money for Nothin’, by Dire Straits
• Car Wash, by Rose Royce
• Chain Gang, by Sam Cooke
• 9 Pound Steel, by Joe Simon
• She Works Hard for the Money, by Donna Summer
• Five O’clock World, by The Vogues
• Working in a Coal Mine, by Lee Dorsey
• Hard Day’s Night, by The Beatles
• 16 Tons, by Tennessee Ernie Ford
• Big Boss Man, by Jimmy Reed
• Nine to Five, by Dolly Parton
• Working for a Living, by Huey Lewis and The News
• Working Man’s Blues, by Merle Haggard
• Take This Job and Shove It, by Johnny Paycheck
Breaking News
Governor Abbott says if Harris wins, Texas will secede from the Union.
SNN Words to Live By
“The media makes it more than it is.” — NFL player Saquon Barkley.
“I don’t stop when I’m tired, I stop when I’m done.” — James Bond.
“If you can’t bite don’t growl.” — Tommy Collins, 1965 song.
The Question
Alternative Truth, or Misinformation, or Disinformation? (Give your answer in the comments below!)
Authors pick: Personally, I prefer a damn good lie.
- Trump Hires James Bond: ‘Can’t Trust Secret Service’ - November 14, 2024
- BREAKING: Election Special Report! - November 5, 2024
- Your Musical Playlist Reveals Your Social Class - October 26, 2024
