If there is something strange in your house or neighborhood, who ya gonna call?
Recently my wife and I experienced something very mysterious. The other day we bought some shrimp and that evening we went to fetch it from the refrigerator. But it wasn’t there. We looked everywhere but we couldn’t find it. Three days later more shrimp was purchased and as we went to put it into the refrigerator, we noticed there, in plain sight, was the lost shrimp.
Later we observed other strange occurrences such as a door slamming shut on its own and eerie shadows floating by. But it wasn’t until the TV began to turn itself on and off that we began to fear that it might be the work of a poltergeist. And when the TV started to constantly change from MSNBC to Fox News, we feared that it was a Republican spirit (the worst kind).
I had never believed in apparitions before, probably because I grew up watching Scooby-Doo. In every episode, members of Mystery Inc. encountered a ghost that was terrifying the local populace. And in every show Shaggy and Scooby were terrified until it was revealed that the paranormal activity was really an elaborate hoax. So, I had come to believe that there is always a non-ghost explanation for what seems to be paranormal events.
However, 43% of Americans believe that ghosts exist, despite that fact that no evidence has materialized that proves their existence. How could so many people believe that? I began to wonder if maybe I was wrong NOT to believe in ghosts?
Those who believe say that ghosts often dwell in cemeteries, prisons, asylums and houses. And it’s not just old run-down houses like the Munsters’ mansion in which they can reside. They can be present on any property including those in nice subdivisions.
If you think a phantom is haunting your house, do not be embarrassed, some believe that even the White House is haunted and not just since the 2016 election. Eleanor Roosevelt maintained that she felt Lincoln’s presence throughout the house and Winston Churchill, when he visited the White House, refused to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom after seeing the former president’s ghost standing beside the fireplace. Of course, FDR did make some pretty strong drinks.
They say that if your home is haunted, besides observing things similar to what I experienced, look for these signs:
- A sense of being watched.
- An awareness of someone standing close behind you.
- Feeling the hair on the back of your neck standing up.
- Feeling a cold breeze as if someone has walked past you
But keep in mind that these sensations may be due to your wife walking into the room where you have been watching football all day instead of doing the yardwork as promised.
If your house is truly haunted, how alarmed should you be given that throughout history ghosts have generally been considered scary and malevolent? We all grew up hearing spooky ghost stories. And evil visitants are the basis of many horror movies. But some might be like Jacob Marley and the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future who were only trying to save Scrooge from a terrible fate (although the Ghost of Christmas future was creepy).
Some people who say they have encountered specters claim they have actually become friendly with them. I mean REALLY friendly. One woman in England alleges that she had sex with twenty ghosts. The saucy minx eventually took a break from spirit sex perhaps out of concern for her reputation in the spirit world. But as fate would have it, on a trip to Australia she encountered a comely apparition who swept her off her feet. On the flight home she says that they became members of the mile high club (they did the dirty deed in the loo). There is no record of how many martinis she had on that flight.
But, no doubt, some ghosts, probably are more like the pernicious spirits in The Amityville Horror film who were filled with malicious and harmful intent.
One psychic explained that if there is an evil phantom in your house, try chanting, “This place is mine. You are not wanted here. Please leave.” I tried this chant, but after reading about that British hussy, I added, “Or if you stay, let’s just be friends.”
Another medium, who is in the ‘all ghosts are evil camp’ suggests that the evil spirit is not going to go away of its own accord and that the situation will only get worse.
So, if there is something strange in your neighborhood, WHO YA GONNA CALL? Well, your best bet is probably to contact a paranormal investigation and elimination service and praise the Lord, nearly every state has at least one. Florida has 49.
Paranormal investigators will come to your home and use various techniques and instruments to determine if poltergeists are present. They will also help you get rid of your unwelcome guest(s). Surprisingly, none of the groups is named Ghost Busters. But some do have very interesting names such as:
- Bad Ass Spirit Outlaws
- Half Past Dead
- Hide & Seek Paranormal Society, and my favorite,
- Boo Hunters
But I don’t know if I want to go through the trouble of evicting my spirit. Yes, it stole our shrimp, but it did return them. Despite the fact that it is a Republican, I’m not sure that it is completely wicked. And to be honest, I’ve had worse roommates.
Happy Halloween.
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