Our Gang Buckwheat Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Buckwheat of “Our Gang” and “The Little Rascals.”

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Through the magic of a hologram, live from heaven my guest is Buckwheat of Our Gang and The Little Rascals.

JERRY

Hey, my man. Spanky and Alfalfa were supposed to bring you a dozen donuts from my mother.

BUCKWHEAT

They did, but Chubby ate dem.

JERRY

What? All dozen?

BUCKWHEAT

Uh huh. And he ate Panky and Alpalpa.

JERRY

My condolences. You’ll get more donuts.

BUCKWHEAT

Okie dokie. I like dat.

JERRY

What is your job in heaven?

BUCKWHEAT

I count how many times Trump lies.

JERRY

You mean he’s going to hell?

BUCKWHEAT

Dat’s what the boss man say.

JERRY

What’s the biggest lie Trump told?

BUCKWHEAT

Dat he’s smart. Trump say, “I know more about ISIS than the generals. Believe me!” And den he lied and say, “Buckwheat grew up, became a Muslim and changed his name to “Kareem of Wheat.”

JERRY

(laughs) It’s just a joke.

BUCKWHEAT

O-tay, maybe. But da Trumpster’s wife’s armpits are so hairy dat it looks like she has me in a headlock.

JERRY

How long were you in The Little Rascals?

BUCKWHEAT

10 years.

JERRY

That’s a lot films, fella.

BUCKWHEAT

52 shorts, Bumpkin.

JERRY

It’s Duncan, you idiot. Jerry Duncan.

BUCKWHEAT

O-tay, Berry Duncan. Meet the one and only Betty Boop.

JERRY

Berry? The man is hopeless.

BETTY BOOP

Hello Mr. Duncan.

JERRY

Call me Jerry, babe.

BOOP

Okay Jerry Babe.

JERRY

Betty. Your head is so big, your ears are in different time zones.

BOOP

You hurt my feelings. I’m a star.

JERRY

Star? You have a big head. It’s so big that if you did fly, the airlines would charge you an extra $25 to bring it aboard.

BOOP

Wise guy! I’m the person who put sexy in women’s fashion. Short skirt, low top, high heels.

JERRY

You’re a Donald Trump fantasy.

BOOP

Are you talking about the orange president who looks like he has a squirrel sitting on top of his head?

JERRY

That’s the dude.

BOOP

I need an Alka-Seltzer. The thought makes me cringe.

JERRY

Betty. What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

BOOP

Have no clue.

JERRY

If Trump gets Alzheimer’s his IQ will go up.

BOOP

One hundred percent. I took too long to answer cause I was dancing to the ringtone on my cell phone.

JERRY

You’re the crazy aunt your family warned about.

BOOP

Don’t mess with me. My friend Popeye will be waiting to punch your lights out when you get to heaven.

JERRY

Oh yeah? Tell Popeye to shove that corn cob pipe up his ass.

JERRY

Buckwheat and Betty Boop. See you tomorrow everyone.

BOOP

Boop – oop – a – doop.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.