BREAKING: Election Special Report! - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Special Report: Controversial 2024 Presidential Election ends in tie, Artificial Ignorance interference suspected.

We bring you this Special Report among general chaos this election day. According to SNN Political Rapinexeter Hoidit Threwda Grapevyne, the controversial 2024 presidential election between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump has impossibly ended in a dead heat, both in the Electoral College and the popular vote.

Multiple government agencies are investigating possible interference from such sources as Russia, China, Iran, Slobovia, Planet Zardoc and especially from Artificial Ignorance.

All government computers have shut down and the major American TV networks have gone off the air. There is no more social media and riots have broken out in several major cities.

There are rumors that Trump and Harris are meeting in an underground bunker under a McDonald’s to hammer out a compromise, such as a co presidency. For example, Trump on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; Harris on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

We are trying to update this information as it comes in, however… Our computers and electronics are fading… We… [blip]

Author
Recent Posts

Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.