President-for-Life: Trump Promises Base

Donald Trump promised his base he’ll be President-for-Life: no need for messy, inconvenient voting any more.

The President-Elect isn’t satisfied with having just won the 2024 election. Now he intends to be “President-for-Life,” and maybe even longer than that.

president-for-life constitution — “Screw the Constitution,” says Trump, “I’ll be President-for-Life.”

Trump declared he will run for president again in 2028, despite the U.S. Constitution barring anyone from holding the office beyond two 4-year terms.

“I’m Lord Donald Trump. The Magnificent. Screw the Constitution,” said Trump. “Term limits don’t apply to me. They’re for suckers and losers. The people just love me to death. They want me to be president-for-life, which for me could be to 100 or more. We don’t even need to have elections in this country anymore. Maybe I’ll just abolish them since the U.S. Supreme Court says I can do anything I want. Okay?”

The 22nd Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, passed in 1947, states that “no person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice.” Trump was elected president from 2017-2021. But that history is irrelevant to today’s reality, according to Trump. In fact, he previously called for terminating the Constitution in order to overturn the 2020 election, which he falsely said was stolen from him, and reinsert him to power.

Trump says he’ll be like Franklin D. Roosevelt who served four terms as president, except “only much better” in that he’ll outdo Roosevelt’s time in office by staying in the White House for all eternity, or until he drops dead, whichever comes first.

He told a conservative Christian advocacy group in July that after he’s president for the next four years, “it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians. We’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote.”

Trump says he has a Plan B if “communist Democrats” and “any other traitors” succeed in stopping him from running again in 2028. What he’ll do then, he said, is run for Vice-President and have someone in his family become president like his daughter Ivanka Trump or his wife Melania Trump. Then they’ll step down from the position and make him president again, while they become vice-president.

“It’s all totally legal,” maintained Trump, adding who wouldn’t enjoy looking all day at “foxes” such as Melania or Ivanka while the two ladies are vice-president?

Trump says he congratulated China’s president Xi Jinping for becoming that country’s maximum ruler for life. “And he’s great,” exclaimed Trump. He also had nothing but good words to say about dictators Vladimir Putin of Russia and North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. The former Soviet Union’s Joseph Stalin wasn’t half bad either, “but I’ll be in power lots longer than they could ever dream about,” promised Trump.

The President-Elect’s bitter enemy and former lawyer, Michael Cohen, says power has gone to Trump’s head.

“He wants to be an autocrat. He wants to be the president of this country for life.”

Cohen added that Trump isn’t joking about wanting to be president forever. “He doesn’t have a sense of humor. He doesn’t laugh or tell jokes. He means it when he says it.” Cohen insisted Trump wasn’t kidding when he proclaimed that “he could kill somebody on Fifth Avenue (in New York City) and get away with it.”

If Cohen is correct, maybe Trump wasn’t spouting more b.s. when he suggested in a meeting with House Republicans November 13 that maybe he would run for a third term in 2028.

Trump’s idea that he could be president for a really long time comes as his good buddy, Elon Musk, says that humans will eventually be able to live forever by downloading their brains into robots.

“I think it is possible,” said the Tesla and SpaceX CEO, who Trump named to co-head a commission to supposedly improve government efficiency. Musk said that “yes, we could download the things that we believe make ourselves so unique…preserving our memories, our personality. I think we could do that.”

Musk is hardly the first person to say prolonging human life is possible. For instance, the 1964 sci-fi novel “Dune” termed such beings as “cymeks.”

So a cymek like Trump could last forever, meaning he ostensibly could come back from the dead and still be president, not to mention dictator as he said he’ll be on Day 1 of his Presidency.

“Coming back from the dead as president would be something no one’s ever done before,” said Trump, stating what to mortal humans might seem impossible. He added that he will be assigning Musk to work on extending his life after Musk finally finishes making his family even larger, in that he already has 11 children from all the different women he’s been involved with.

Trump insinuated that being president of the United States eventually might not be enough to curb his lust for power. Musk has already announced plans to colonize Mars and when that happens, Trump could add to his portfolio by becoming leader of that planet as well.

“We’ll see what happens. Okay?” said Trump as he headed out to polish off his customary healthy lunch of quarter pounders with cheese, followed by a dessert of cherry vanilla ice cream all designed to have him remain in such perfect physical shape as president-for-life.

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Eric Green

Eric Green has Donald Trump to thank for a number of his satirical articles. As long as The Donald is around, Eric will continue to have new material to write about him. Eric finds writing satire a welcome escape from the realities of life. When he’s not trying to be satirical, Eric has been a former newspaper reporter, ex-press aide to a U.S. Senator on Capitol Hill, and ex-writer in the federal government. He's also the author of three mostly humorous books, the one he's most proud of is called Temporary Insanity, Costa Rica, My Way. For fun, he practices playing Beatles songs on the piano.You can find more about him on LinkedIn.