Due to an inter-celestial news glitch, God finds himself out of the loop on Election Day! A conversation with the Man Upstairs.
Caught in mid-prayer in my holey pajamas, the Man Upstairs (God) suddenly picks-up on his 24 hour/365 days WhatsUpApp!
GOD
Repeat that again, Marilyn, and slow down!
ME
I’ve been saying the same prayer for years & now you pick up?
GOD
I’m in the dark on the latest. The last time I looked it was between a Felon and a Woman – what happened?
ME
Well, it was ‘Hobson’s Choice’.
GOD
What cockamamie Cabinet Position did he get?
ME
You didn’t hear about the Nov 5th surprise? You always know before everybody else!
GOD
No – there was a planet disturbance & it blocked everything down on earth.
ME
Who do you think caused that?
GOD
It must’ve been one of Elon’s new toys in the air.
ME
You mean the Space X Rocket that so many down here are friggin’ impressed with?
GOD
Yeah, he’s gonna be the death of me!
ME
Oh, you’ve known him a while?
GOD
Always follows me around – can’t get rid of him!
Yeah, he visits – he has that kind of money!
ME
What country is he from anyway?
GOD
Nobody really knows, but the way he’s so nutsy with the solar system – he may be trying to get back!
ME
How about doing something about Trump.
SILENCE
ME
I said, how about doing something about Trump.
GOD
These Hearing Aids are so cheap!
ME
Can you hear me now?
GOD
Yes, I made Cows too!
ME
Let me put it this way – when will all those fatty cheeseburgers, fries & Ice Cream Orgies take effect?
GOD
You must have patience, dear. Let him live out his days.
ME
Days?
GOD
No, no! Don’t worry – when his time comes I have a special place for him.
ME
Is it warm?
GOD
Yes, with 72 Virgins & they all look like E. Jean Carroll!
… and on & on!
GO GIRL!
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