Shaking Hands with Donald Trump - Eric Green, Humor Times

Shaking hands with Donald Trump is meant to put you on defense.

Have you ever noticed the weird way Donald Trump goes about shaking hands with people?

Look how he thrusts his whole shoulder at somebody when he’s exchanging handshakes. And then he pulls his victim closer to him, as if wanting to achieve dominance as the alpha male.

Maybe his way of shaking hands devolves from his self-admission that he’s a germaphobe and hates the idea of being touched.

Following this logic, perhaps his aggressive handshaking is overcompensating from the reality that he doesn’t really want to get near anybody.

That is, unless they’re a tall attractive blond babe like Ivanka Trump, who Donald Trump said he’d want to date if she wasn’t his daughter. In that case, it might end up with it being more than a handshake, as Stormy Daniels would testify to. Or E. Jean Carroll, and many other women who have taken him to court for sexual abuse or misconduct.

As one psychologist put it, Trump’s handshake is the “opening salvo in a battle for supremacy” with another person.

Trump also goes in for the forearm handshake, where he clasps the other person’s forearm just below the elbow. That’s been described as militaristic and physical where Trump seeks to show who’s the boss and who isn’t.

Besides being a fierce handshaker, Trump might also qualify as the glad handler that is highly extroverted and makes a point of acting super-friendly when in reality, he despises the person. To coin an old phrase associated with former President Richard Milhous Nixon, Trump is a master in using the glad handling routine to “fake sincerity.” Not to mention using it for gamesmanship to get one-upmanship.

That aforementioned psychologist, Professor Geoff Beattie from Edge Hill University in England, said Trump’s aggressive handshakes are not “acts of peace, solidarity and goodwill.” He described how Trump once held on to a 19-second handshake with former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, patting the back of Abe’s hand in several bursts of three pats, before Trump finally released him from his grip.

Beattie said you could plainly see the discomfort in Abe’s face during the long handshake. “But Trump does not seem to care too much for the discomfort of others. If he did, he would not make them ill at ease in such a calculated way.”

So how to get a grip on combating Trump’s handshake if ever one was to greet him in person? If nothing else, you have to know that Trump, being Trump, is going to try to prove his dominance over you.

Previously, with Covid-19 afflicting the world, handshakes were not the only socially acceptable way to greet someone in a business or formal setting. Fist-bumps, bowing like they customarily do in Asian countries, or even claiming a hand injury became good ways to avoid shaking El Presidente’s domineering hand.

That same Professor Beattie suggested following Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s tactic to get on equal footing with Trump when they shook hands. Trudeau took hold of Trump’s right shoulder to steady himself and to stop Trump from yanking him forward. Later, when Trudeau shook hands with Trump when they were both seated, Trudeau extended his fingers to signal that he wanted to be released from Trump’s grip. It worked, apparently, much to Trump’s obvious displeasure.

It was intriguing to see the handshake between Trump and President Joe Biden when they met at the White House following Trump’s victory in the November 5 presidential election. As described by Newsweek Magazine, their handshake highlighted their political and personal differences. The magazine reported that “the timing, and flow, were a bit out of sync. Biden placed his hand on top in a dominant position, but Trump subtly countered by extending his index finger beneath, signaling a balance of power. Trump’s horizontal, cross-body arm suggested a mix of guardedness and strategic intent.”

From this corner, the truth is Biden probably wanted to slap Trump in his orange face for all the personal slights and insults he’s leveled at old Joe. But Biden instead played along with this charade, showing Trump the respect he didn’t deserve. At least in this case, Trump apparently either couldn’t or didn’t dare try to use his usual aggressive handshake to topple Biden over.

The same case applied when Trump met Kamala Harris during their debate back in September. Harris was praised for approaching Trump as she entered the debate stage and went for the handshake in what was described as a “power move.”

Political observers said Trump “either wasn’t expecting the handshake or he didn’t want to do it.” As one observer succinctly put it, Harris’ “aggressive pursuit of handshake–good.”

So, brothers and sisters, take heed if somehow you’re ever in Trump’s line of fire for a handshake. Do what Kamala Harris did. She may have lost the presidential election. But at least during the debate, she got the upper hand.

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Eric Green

Eric Green has Donald Trump to thank for a number of his satirical articles. As long as The Donald is around, Eric will continue to have new material to write about him. Eric finds writing satire a welcome escape from the realities of life. When he’s not trying to be satirical, Eric has been a former newspaper reporter, ex-press aide to a U.S. Senator on Capitol Hill, and ex-writer in the federal government. He's also the author of three mostly humorous books, the one he's most proud of is called Temporary Insanity, Costa Rica, My Way. For fun, he practices playing Beatles songs on the piano.You can find more about him on LinkedIn.